Noon
{other post way too long, and my, how things change in an instant!}
I noticed Sawyer's head----the whole examination process had been interrupted with Melanie's little declaration. I moved to my bag and gathered him some medicine. "Here, take this." I handed him some water. He took it, and I settled him back on the bed. I put a cloth over his head and instructed him to rest for a bit---he needed it. He nodded and tried closing his eyes.
I sat beside him until he appeared to be napping. It was a fitful sleep for him. I'd talk to the Korean woman....Sun....see if we could help him.
I went to check on Christopher. He was awake, just staring around, watching his hands. I changed him, played with him, and sang to him. He settled into a sleep also.
I collapsed in the chair and pulled out my diary. "Wasted love," I murmured, ripping the pages I had written about Jack from the book. I snorted to myself----he and I had started as a cheat, how did I expect him to be faithful to me? I shred the pages into tiny shards, stepped outside, and tossed them skyward, letting the wind catch them and carry them off.
Jack had let me cry like that---he didn't care. That's what hit home. He didn't care that he had hurt me that badly. I have never cried like that before.
I would not let him win at this. He would no longer see my pain. If he wanted a barmaid, let him have her. I would be just as compassionate and sweet as ever. If I turned vicious---they won. I waved over Denise, had her take them some water. I'm sure they could use it after their liplock. It felt good---not being spiteful.
I turned to a new page in my diary and started writing.
Deary Diary,
Jack is a bloody asshole. Sawyer, on the other hand....
{Tags: Anyone who wants to visit/Sawyer when he wakes up}
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 |  Tags: Anyone
 dinah_is_lost
2005-05-02 10:52
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(back... whew... busy weekend)
I had slept for a while. I felt stupid. I can't believe I let Colin get to me like that. I'd put him out of my mind a long time ago, when I had learned that he was using me, then my sister. It just the shock of seeing him again, here of all places!
It was the shock and the pain I was in... then he asked about Tovah. He remembered HER name. Well, of course he did, she's the party girl, the fun one. Tovah loves dancing, sex, and making a spectacle of herself. She made a career out of making people remember her name. Fuck that. I didn't want people to remember me for being rich, or appearing at every party on the arm of the flavor of the week. Or for a sex tape, starring me, that had "accidentally" been leaked to the press, and then released on DVD.
All I wanted to do was help others, to make a difference in the lives of families who weren't as fortunate. It hurt me inside to think of the little children in Africa who were parentless and dying themselves because AIDS was out of control. Maybe that had cost me Colin. If that were true, he wasn't the type of man I wanted for myself anyway.
I was roused from my introspection by yelling down the way. I knew it would be an effort to get back outside by myself, but the saying "Curiousity killed the cat" exists for a reason.
Slowly, I made my way outside to see what was going on.
Meow(Reply to this) (Thread) |
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|  Re: Tags: Sawyer
claire_is_lost
2005-05-03 13:37
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{claire will come back here, Jas, for when you get online :) She'll stay in this thread for when Sawyer wakes lol}
I sat with Sawyer for a while----he was frowning and jerking a bit in his sleep.....this seemed familiar. He must have been having that dream again...
The silence was broken when Christopher screamed. I bolted from the bed and scooped him up, instantly taking him outside. He wasn't hungry, I knew that cry. This wasn't a needing a changed diaper cry either. I checked, just in case. No, he was fine. I held him, rocked him, and paced with him.
Then I knew why he was crying.
"Christopher, please," I pleaded. He kept screaming and flailing his arms around.
I held him to my chest and walked down the row of huts, walking to the water. Getting him far away from Sawyer too---a baby crying did not help a headache. I pulled the blanket around him and held him to me at the shoreline. I hoped the water would calm him. "Sssshhhhh," I soothed, bouncing him a bit.(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread) |
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|  Jack reads Claire's discarded diary entries
jack_is_lost
2005-05-02 23:04
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Back in my hut, with nothing to do. Looked really familiar to me. Just like before Claire. People hating me, ignoring
me, only calling for me if they were hurt, sick or dying. Yep. I sighed. Then came a knock on the door, it was
Melanie. Delivering those tar stained pages I had briefly seen earlier. She said... Erin found them and tapped them.
I suspected everyone had read them by now. I guess now it was my turn. I read the first tar stained page and
wondered what Sawyer thought of that. I smiled a small smile and then I read.
Dear Diary,
Tonight things changed for me and Jack....they changed in a second.
What turned out innocently ignited into something passionate. We left
for the falls. Something happened with another girl, and I was
concerned, angry. I...I asked Jack a very difficult favor---to break
my dural sac so that I would go into labor...except it never got to
that point. Passion ignited, and we ended up doing something
else...twice. It was...AMAZING. I feel like I'm on cloud 9 right
now. It was deep...intentense...passionate....RIGHT. It just felt
RIGHT. I can't put my finger on it, but it felt like we had always
been...like we were sculpted to fit together..... I felt cherished,
cared for, loved....
And it's silly, in a way. Jack and I are friends----Jackers and
Claire.....but we've bonded so much during this time that Sawyer has
been away. I didn't want the night to end. He held me. He just held
me and we talked quietly. I felt so safe with him..... I didn't want
to leave...
But then we left. Left our place of magic. I'm not sure what will
happen in the upcoming days, but...I want him. To be with him.
Love,
Claire(Reply to this) (Thread) |
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