|Current mood:|| groggy|
Strange how things come around.
Today was an interesting day. I have been really tired, but for some reason i can't sleep. I wanted to take a nap when i got home but it didnt work out. i did go out and planted some new plants. My little garden is comming back to life, with spring in the air. But i got bit my misquitoes :(
Today i went to school tired as fuck. I talked with bobby in the morning, lol most of it came out wrong and i kept stumbling with my words. I was soooo tired. I think i got out most of what i wanted to say. I bet it was funny to watch. then i went to first where we had to take the poster we made, and remake it in photo shop, which was kind of a pain. I had to retrace the pictures i used to draw the poster in the first place. Second i went to the media center to look at the stock market. I found out that a girl that finally came to class i knew her in my biology class two years ago. So i talked to her a bit. Then this girl i knew freshmen year sat with us talking. Funny thing is, she use to hate me, and was kinda mean, and now she talks to me like are friends. I dont have a problem with it, i just have to get use to it. A lot of people who were once mean to me, end up to be my friend. Its really weird. This girl in 5th grade use to call me names and hit me and do all kinds of rude shit, then in 7th she wanted to be my friend. I was like ooook..... right. Its just weird. Takes time to get use to. Then i went to tech and did nothing. I am going to make a mat tomorrow for my pic. Today i helped laura put pictures in her power point pressentation. Now i am home and bored out of my mind. I think im going to try to go to bed.
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|hey gurl |
heres that email i got today..
And now. i wanna die
im writing you, if you like it or not.
today I learned A LOT.
I dident think about you like I thought about my other g/f's
I would miss there touch, then smell, there wormth, everything,
and ever sence I saw all these things about you, ive lost that.
2 days without you, and im not that bad off, I dident miss all that.
that’s NEVER happened to me before
so I think that says a lot….
I did what jessica said, she told me that I should back off for a bit,
and if I don’t feel any of that, then I will truly know……
and I thought about it, and decided I would do that, I did it,
and I dident think about you, I saw that I don’t want this.,
you say you care , but if you did, you would want to talk, you would want to
work this shit out as fast as possible BUT YOU DON’T!!!!!!
so FUCK that, I WILL NOT deal with this SAME thing again.
any SANE human being can see that this isent worth it
I kept thinking with my ex, that maybe it would work out, maybe eventully it would, but I was wrong, SO WHY DO IT AGAIN!?!?!?!?!?!!?
its stupid, and idiodic to continue this relationship.
I did share a lot with you, but that was on the basis of what I THOUGHT you were…
I cant let this go on…
not on just a chance…
your great as a person, I still trust you, but I cant take this right now..
we can still talk, be friends, but like I said, we will BOTH need distance, not talk to each other for a while….
it wont be easy, I know that.
it will hurt me A LOT to still see you, more then it hurts to see my other ex;s
but if I end it now, it will be for the best!!
you have to see that
you HAVE to!
becase I don’t like to fight ether, and I can see that we will fight A LOT!!!!
becase we are different, all ppl fight, but with me, I tend to fight a lot, im stupid like that, becase A LOT of things piss me off, and I do NOT let it just slied
im not like that, I don’t let everything go.
theres nothing wrong with you,
and I want you to know that!!
but your not what I thought you were…that’s my own stupidity
and how your not wanting to talk to me about this, is the last straw…..
becase now I don’t give a FUCK!!!!!!!!!!
if you LOVED me, no matter HOW sick you are, no matter WHAT was going on, you would try to work it out, and I know this for a FACT!!!!!!!!!
if you don’t want to ever talk to me again, just tell me!
becase I will not deal with this, I have to much shit going for me right now, to be depressed, and thinking about how Im fighting with you…….
~Robert Lee Pennington the III~
yeah..anyways. if i dont come back to school.. youll know why. and i lied. i wont get over it and move on like i told laura i was bullshitin myself cuz i didnt think he was gonna dump me.
BUT I WAS WRONG
HES GONE AND NOW I HAVE NOTHING
IVE GOT PE AND DRIVERS ED TILL MAY AND THATS ENOUGHT TO FUCKIN MAKE ME INSAINE NOT ONLY THAT BUT NOW MY GRANDPARENTS ARE GOING TO COME FOR MY GRAD.. AND I LIED AND TOLD THEM I had A JOB AND I DONT..SO NOW. IM FUCKD NOT ONLY IN THAT BUT IN MY HOLE LIFE. I HAVE HIM THE MOST IMPORTANTIST THING I HAD THE ONLY THING I VALUED IN MY LIFE. AND NOW I DONT KNOW WHO I AM..
so if u dont see me again..youll know why.
OVER AND OUT CRULE WORLD IVE GOT NOTHING LEFT TO LIVE FOR.!
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