Chris Kirkpatrick (c__kirkpatrick) wrote, @ 2003-03-08 19:28:00

Current mood:	loved
Current music:	cyndi lauper - i drove all night

aint that funny..
*walks into his house, dusty from being on his motorcycle all day, punching in the security codes behind him, then fumbles for a lightswitch to the foyer**sighs, walking up the stairs slowly, reaching his room, peeling his clothes off except for his boxers**glances over at his laptop on his bed, turning it on**cracks his knuckles and begins to type*

He loves me too. I dont wanna rush but fuck HE LOVES ME TOO!

My god, do you realize how many years Ive DREAMED about this? WANTED this? Felt totally incomplete because I didnt have this?!...Fuck, I loved Dani to DEATH but it STILL didnt compare...it just couldnt...

I dont know why I was shocked when me and her didnt work out. Maybe she could sense it...that no matter what, my heart belonged to him. That no matter how much I wanted her, I wanted him more. Still with her? I truly loved her...Then to find out she really didnt care? That to her it was all just some game? yeah well...

I never thought Id even try my hand at this again. Nobodys been able to get near me before or since. Im too used to people leaving me anyways...

But then theres him....hes so different from anybody...hes been a constant, moreso than even the other guys...while they have all been off doing their own thing, lance hasnt forgotten to call you, he hasnt forgotten to remember you exist...*swallows hard*...

I love him. And I see the lonliness that hovers over his head like a dark cloud...Why? I dont know why. I dont know why someone didnt snatch him up already...But now I have my chance. To show him. To be near him...to finally do what Ive been wanting to do for so many years...

I dont know, for the first time I feel free...

please god dont let this fuck up the group...our friendship...friendships...oh my god. whats my family gonna think!

*swallows hard*...i dont care what they think....

I love him.

*clicks update, shutting his laptop then walks to the bathroom, peeling off his boxers, then steps into the hot shower, leaning his head aginst the wall with a heavy sigh*

	jess_simpson03 2003-03-08 20:59 (link)
	Good luck with you and Lance, Chris. *hugs* (Reply to this) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-09 00:50 (link)
	*grins big* thank you so much! *hugs* We need all the luck we can get...not that i think it wont work, im just nervous *small smile* (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	jess_simpson03 2003-03-09 03:47 (link)
	Nervousness sucks *nods* you'll get over it, calm down. *hugs you again* (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-09 04:04 (link)
	*laughs* im already calm...i feel so happy i dont know what to do with myself *chuckles* (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	jess_simpson03 2003-03-09 14:36 (link)
	Masturbate? No I'm kidding :-* (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gwen___stefani 2003-03-08 21:13 (link)
	I did it for Lance, I'll do it for you...GO CHRIS!! WOO!! *attempts to do a split* Wooo forgot how old I was...*laughs* (Reply to this) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-09 00:54 (link)
	*laughs softly* hey! not bad! ive NEVER been able to do a split..no matter what age i am! *Grins and hugs you* seriously though hon thanks alot! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gwen___stefani 2003-03-09 11:46 (link)
	*Hugs you back* You deserve to be happy Chris. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lance____bass 2003-03-08 21:58 (link)
	*picks up phone and dial your number, sits down and waits for you to answer* (Reply to this) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-09 00:58 (link)
	*just getting out of the shower, hearing the phone ring**runs out of the bathroom, grabbing the cordless, still dripping wet* hello? *reaching for a towel, trying to dry himself off* (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lance____bass 2003-03-09 04:00 (link)
	Hey it's me *smiles**runs fingers though his hair as he relaxes in his seat.* (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-09 04:03 (link)
	*smiles big, wrapping his towel around himself, sitting on the edge of his bed* Hey you!...*bites his bottom lip* how are ya? *gets a chill, still wet from the shower* (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: lance____bass 2003-03-09 04:07 (link)
	i'm okay.. how are you? *streches out, bringing feet up onto the couch* ..god i love his voice... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-09 04:12 (link)
	*smiles* ah im good....just got out of the shower so im kinda uh yeah wet and naked but im really good now *chuckles softly, scooting back on the bed, leaning aginst the headboard* jesus hes got the hottest voice on earth... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: lance____bass 2003-03-09 04:17 (link)
	*blinks and blushes*OMG... naked chris... naked wet chris... you're naked?*voice wavering* (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-09 04:23 (link)

*laughs softly, looking down* mm yeah....im sorry i didnt mean to uhm embarass you or anything think of something non-sexual chris....think of ..ALGEBRA...SOMETHING... *clears his throat* im sorry...yeah i mean i got out of the shower to answer the phone....*chuckles softly* so yeah didnt have time to put anything on but its all good....dont ramble...your rambling...stop it... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: lance____bass 2003-03-09 04:31 (link)
	*blushes again* ah.. no its cool.. i just.. um didn't expect... i mean... i didn't think you can't even string together a secntence bass, stop thinking about chris naked!... that you... do you um want to get dresses? *blushes agian* (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-09 04:40 (link)
	*chuckles*...well to be terribly blunt with you i wasnt gonna ..i usually dont when its just me here....like you know, going to bed....*bites his bottom lip* get your mind out of the gutter *says coyly* so what are you up to? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: lance____bass 2003-03-09 05:19 (link)
	*mouth gapes open, he looks down and blushes* he didn't mean *that* bass, stop thinking about him naked!... um, nothing, really. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-09 05:25 (link)
	really? nothing? *bites his bottom lip, shivering**crawls under his blanket, trying to get warm* yeah im not up ...*coughs* to anything....mmm....*talks softer* although im really glad you called....i wanted to hear your voice *blushes a little, grateful you cant see him* (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: lance____bass 2003-03-09 05:37 (link)
	*blushes even harder* i'm glad i called too... *lays head on the arm of the couch* i missed you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-09 05:47 (link)
	*bites his bottom lip, leaning his head back aginst the headboard, saying softly* i missed you too lance....*sighs* hell i miss you...right now...*picks at the blanket, sighing quietly* (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lance____bass 2003-03-09 05:59 (link)
	he misses me too... maybe he does really love me?... *smiles, reaching down the couch pulling up the blanket and covering himself, snuggling into the warm fabric.**says quietly* Chris what is it about me you're attracted to the most... you don't have to answer... it's just... i don't see anything about myelf worth missinng *sighs* (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-09 06:07 (link)
	*sighs softly, scooting down under the blankets, resting his head on a pillow* well what way do you mean? personality wise? physically? theres a million reasons why id miss you lance..i miss your smile...your laugh...the things you say, the way you talk...*sigh*...who put these thoughts into your head? that you wernt worth missing? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lance____bass 2003-03-09 06:25 (link)
	*blinks back tears, remembering him* don't think about him bass, it will only bring back all the pain... its not important chris... i'm not important (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - c__kirkpatrick, 2003-03-09 06:46:28

Re: - lance____bass, 2003-03-09 16:02:11

(no subject) - c__kirkpatrick, 2003-03-09 20:24:41

Re: - lance____bass, 2003-03-10 01:39:36

(no subject) - c__kirkpatrick, 2003-03-10 01:49:17

Re: - lance____bass, 2003-03-10 01:55:28

(no subject) - c__kirkpatrick, 2003-03-10 02:02:54

Re: - lance____bass, 2003-03-10 02:13:26

(no subject) - c__kirkpatrick, 2003-03-10 02:17:02

Re: - lance____bass, 2003-03-10 02:21:59

(no subject) - c__kirkpatrick, 2003-03-10 02:24:46

Re: - lance____bass, 2003-03-10 02:30:01

(no subject) - c__kirkpatrick, 2003-03-10 02:32:21

Re: - lance____bass, 2003-03-10 02:36:34

(no subject) - c__kirkpatrick, 2003-03-10 02:49:03

Re: - lance____bass, 2003-03-10 02:55:30

(no subject) - c__kirkpatrick, 2003-03-10 03:00:16

Re: - lance____bass, 2003-03-10 03:04:07

(no subject) - c__kirkpatrick, 2003-03-10 03:07:44

Re: - lance____bass, 2003-03-10 03:23:45

Re: - lance____bass, 2003-03-10 03:24:18

(no subject) - c__kirkpatrick, 2003-03-10 03:29:05

(no subject) - lance____bass, 2003-03-10 04:25:55

(no subject) - c__kirkpatrick, 2003-03-10 05:03:47

Re: - lance____bass, 2003-03-10 05:08:48

(no subject) - c__kirkpatrick, 2003-03-10 05:15:35