Chris Kirkpatrick (c__kirkpatrick) wrote, @ 2003-03-04 04:00:00

Current mood:	complacent
Current music:	dashboard confessional - the brilliant dance

Hmmm....

*tilts his head, chewing on his bottom lip* well Whats to tell?

Im Chris Kirkpatrick. Im 31 years old and Im usually more well known as one of the 'backup singers' of Nsync. *chuckles* oh dear that sounded pretty fuckin' bitter, didnt it.

I like being where I am if you want me to be honest.

I love them 4 guys. They are seriously my family and THEN some...I know alot of people make assumptions about us all....

*trails off, biting on his bottom lip, thinking*....Its funny though because I guess we all do put up masks...

Ive been putting the masks up since I was a child.

Laugh now, Cry later.

*taps his fingers on his desk lightly*...I wonder when my "Later" will come?

Its hard playing the 'funny man' all the time, you know? always having to be the "strong one"...

theres stuff that Ill take to my grave that nobody in this world can and will know...But see, Im not so sad about that...

*Shrugs*..I mean I have it made. I live in a million-something dollar home, motorcycles and cars out the yin yang, more clothes and useless crap than I know what to deal with....

More than I think Im frankly worth...*blinks*

*looks down at his hands*....It gets hard to be the funny man all the time. When all You wanna do is break down and cry, scream, flip out....

But instead, you smile.

Still waiting for my "later" to come...

*blinks slowly*...*says quietly* doubt it will...

*sighs*...Anyways.

I guess thats a good enough insight into my mind. Its got cobwebs and dust but...its still rather interesting....*chuckles*

	rock_my_body 2003-03-04 12:31 (link)
	Chris.....how have you been? *scratches my head* What is this....."later" you're talking about? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-04 19:53 (link)
	Ah Hey man! Hmm.. Ive been pretty good I guess *half smile* you know...Just hangin'.. Hmm....Ever hear that "laugh now, cry later" sayin'? yeah...you know *shrugs**small smile* (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: rock_my_body 2003-03-04 22:49 (link)
	I mean....what are you crying about Chris? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-04 23:09 (link)
	*shrugs*....its not crying J...its more like....I guess the best way I can describe it is....this kinda empty blah feeling, you know? oh that sounded articulate Chris...idiot... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gwen___stefani 2003-03-04 19:04 (link)
	*searches for something to say but can't find anything* My God, The fact that someone can have "everything" and still no one sees the inside, it's... Chris, I can't say I understand what you mean, because I can't truly know how you feel, but...*her voice trails off, slowly shakes head before sitting back quietly* (Reply to this) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-04 21:16 (link)
	*rae*...what were you going to say? *confused look on his face, chewing on his bottom lip* (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gwen___stefani 2003-03-04 21:25 (link)
	...I don't really know. I'm just...here for you if you need someone to talk to. Jesus Gwen, what are you thinking? I guess you made me think. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-04 21:32 (link)

*tilts his head, a little suprised, unsure of what to say at first*... Uhm...*rubs the back of his neck* why does it seem like shes not sure weither she wants to say that or not?...oh shut up chris stop being paranoid thank you Gwen....uhm, you know, if you ever need to talk too...it goes both ways...*small smile* yeah chris that sounded dorky, shut up man so..yeah...only a phonecall away...hell you can send smoke signals if you like (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gwen___stefani 2003-03-04 21:35 (link)
	I like the sound of smoke signals Gwen you're scaring him stop. Just be straight forward I need to do more than talk to someone *small laugh* ooh that sounded bad (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-04 21:42 (link)
	wow most people think im a crackhead for the smoke signals comment *chuckles* *blinks, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly*...oh?...well what, besides talking, is on your mind then? *tilts his head* smooth chris...REAL SMOOTH...dork... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gwen___stefani 2003-03-04 21:46 (link)
	I don't know, hanging out with someone who is around my age, and is cute....what? You sound like a twelve year old with a crush! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-04 23:23 (link)
	*coy smile* a guy around your age who is cute....*looks around him*....but see the only person around here is me.....*points to himself, rae* (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gwen___stefani 2003-03-04 23:27 (link)
	Yeah I can only see you too *small smile* Must be you (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-05 07:16 (link)
	oh? *smiles, tilting his head, taking a step closer to you* guess it must be me, then.. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	jen_garner_ 2003-03-04 21:51 (link)
	Laugh now, Cry later. The saying I grew up on!! It is hard for me to hold it in sometime but I have to do it I guess. *Shrugs* (Reply to this) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-04 23:07 (link)
	*small smile* i know what you mean. Ive always had to grow up with that mindset, and now that I should just let it all out, i cant.... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	jen_garner_ 2003-03-04 23:13 (link)
	I know exactly what you mean. I want to let it out so bad right now I could scream but I can't do it... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-04 23:26 (link)
	*chuckles* i know what you mean. id love to just flip out and go ripshit sometime but, there just dosnt seem to be the time, or place, or whatever, for that, you know? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	jen_garner_ 2003-03-04 23:35 (link)
	Yes I know completely. *Laughs a little* With me there is one person I would love to flip out on and shit. Very badly but there's never a time or place. except tomorrow when I get those papers.. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-05 07:15 (link)
	Ah i know. usually im in a good mood. its just sometimes I hate having to play the strong guy you know? but... i mean i guess theres a time and place for it all (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	jen_garner_ 2003-03-05 11:19 (link)
	You're right there is a time and place for it all. I get sick of always playing the happy girl, the one that smiles for everyone and talks about how wonderful life is. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	aguiilera 2003-03-04 22:56 (link)
	Laugh now, cry later? Screw that babes. Cry now if you need to. Trying to be everything to everyone else is only going to make you unhappy. Try being everything to yourself. Oh wow, that made sense... *sarcastic* (Reply to this) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-04 23:06 (link)
	*smiles a bit* Nah, that actually made alot of sense to me... I guess Im just used to putting myself on the back burner, you know? Like, I know Im a tough guy so it just seems i guess like second nature to not put myself first because I dont really honestly think I need to be handled as..carefully as some others ...Oh like that dosnt sound retarded, chris... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	aguiilera 2003-03-04 23:12 (link)
	Well maybe it's time to start putting yourself first? You can still be around to help out your friends, you just need to sort out your priorities some. It's true what that say - if you can't love yourself first, how the hell ever can you love someone else? Oh wow, you sound like a self-help tree-hugger Christina. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	c__kirkpatrick 2003-03-04 23:31 (link)
	*chuckles*....yeah im aware of the saying...its easier said than done but im sure your right *shrugs, stuffing his hands in his pockets* i mean I try you know? i just figured that by now id feel...less lost...and shit, you know? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)