|Current music:||Girls Not Grey - AFI|
If you want to, I can save you, I can take you away from here, so lonely inside so busy out there...Misguided heart
| Brynn promised a few people a decent update by today or tomorrow night, but she thought she might as well get it over with. She hadn't eaten a good meal in awhile since she came down with a common cold; she had to force herself to eat. It was one of those feelings where you were so hungry, that you couldn't even eat. She was basically miserable all day in class yesterday, and her nose would not work with her. Her cheeks turned into a light shade of pink from all the sneezing and coughing that would come out of her little body. Ugh, whoever passed me this thing, I swear... It wasn't helping the fact that there was a game today, but she wasn't sure if she should just suck it up or warm the bench for her teammates tonight. She'll have to think about it a bit more. Her body was wrapped around with merely a towel and her hair was dripping across the wooden floor and over her shoulders. Something came to her, and she needed to write it down. |
Miss keep your distance
Miss out of my way
Miss don't let a man interfere, no
Miss on her own
Miss almost grown
Miss never let a man help her off her throne
So, by keeping her heart protected
She'd never ever feel rejected
Little miss apprehensive
Said oh, she fell in love
What is the feelin' takin' over?
Thinkin' no one could open my door
Surprise. It's time
To feel what's real
What happened to Miss Independent?
No more the need to be defensive
Goodbye, old you
When love is true
Have you ever been torn between two people that make you so completely and utterly happy? You could only go one path and leave the other. Usually, I'd be the one to run away in a situation like this, but I can't do that anymore. I have to start facing my fears. I thought long and hard about this, and everything was fine until Ryan came back. I am not trying to say that Ryan dragged me down, but he sure put my head in a daze. Caught between two men who already hate one another for things they have been told, and I have to pick. I don't want to lose either of them because they've been such a bit impact on my life. It almost seems if I'm living one of those Joey Potter things ( if you don't watch Dawson's Creek than excuse that statement ).
| She chuckled at her Dawon's Creek simliarity. Now, how many times have I been told that one? As odd as it sounded, she found herself in a lot of the same situations as Joey. Joey ran from everything before a solution could arise, and that is exactly what Brynn did. Her baby pink lips parted from one another to sigh, making sure she was ready to do this. Her freshly painted fingernails rested on top of the white keys as she started to type once again with a smile. Just remembering what they used to have, it was magical. It was a fairytale, but fairytales never last forever. Aside from all the fighting and arguments, she loved to look at the up sides of their relationship. |
First, there's Ryan Corst. This gorgeous, tall, charming guy; any girl would be lucky to have him. He's got an.. amazing smile and an amazing set of eyes, a girl could get lost in them forever. They play their own little tricks and games with you, almost like little teasers. They'll catpure you with their genuine looks and never let you go once they have you. It's a powerful feeling, and I don't think I'll ever get it from someone else. Then there's the fact that I fell hard for this man, too hard and too fast, anyone would agree. It was only a few months ago that I met him, but the timing was right. Well, it seemed right at the moment. I was engaged a few weeks later to him, and I didn't have a doubt in my mind that I would be his wife. That was I could think about, all I could dream about, but that all ended when he left. That was the end of us because he loved football. I could never let him pick between us again because I know who will win. As much as he tries to convince me that it will never be number one again, I know in the back of my mind that I'm not strong enough to listen to that. I know him too well. I know him better than I know myself. Although, he tends to have a few surprises up his sleeve that makes you think what the hell he's going to do next. My past, my first love, my best friend.
Miss play it smart
Miss if you want to use that line you better not start, no
But she miscalculated
She didn't want to end up jaded
And this miss decided not to miss out on true love
So, by changing her misconceptions
She went in a new direction
And found inside she felt a connection
She fell in love.
And then there's a new spark of hope running through me, Josh Stevens. No, I've never had something like him come into my life before. What first started out to be the battle of the sexes turned out to be nothing less of some sort of infatuation. Without my knowing, he read most of my journal and figured me out in seconds. It took me 17 years to find out what he has in merely 2 minutes. He knows what happened between Ryan and I, and that makes me uncomfortable. Why? I have no clue, but I do know that there's something about him that makes me coming back for me. Something addicting, and then the infatuation takes over the best of me.
When Miss Independence walked away
No time for love that came her way
She looked in the mirror and thought today
What happened to miss no longer afraid?
It took some time for her to see
How beautiful love could truly be
No more talk of why can't that be me
I'm so glad I finally feel
Aside from all that above, I got to meet a few people this week, Jamie caught my attention. We've talked like.. twice? People make too many assumptions about the Heights. They're great kids, and I have nothing but respect for them. They don't put up with shit and anyone who does that has my attention. Jamie and I though, I guess we kind of clicked. He told me he was comfortable talking to me, and I'm really glad that he feels that way. The boy needs someone to talk to, you can't run away with drugs for forever, right? There's just something about him that makes me want to just.. lecture for hours, but I cut him loose once in awhile. He's go so much to offer, yet too blind to see that. I know his past was hard and it changed him, but maybe another change wouldn't hurt? He'll surprise you with how talented he really is.
| Her eyes cornered on her clock as she groaned quietly. She honestly didn't feel like playing tonight; partly because she was sick and partly because.. she hasn't been giving her all towards the practices lately. |
There's a game tonight. I'm nervous, scared even. I really hope I see Marc or Gideon there tonight. At least it could slightly calm my nerves to see some of my best friends there. I can't help but feel completely guilty when it comes to Marc. When was the last time we actually got to hang out? We are so caught up in our own little world that we haven't had the time to sit down and goof around. London will do us good. We're planning on meeting Rob and Gideon there, shows us the ropes, even though Marc knows most of the city. I really do have some of the greatest friends. Now if I could actually get some girlfriends, I would be good to go..
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