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Katie is for lovers........! (brokenrecords89) wrote,
@ 2004-11-16 18:29:00
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    Current mood: nerdy
    Current music:From Cailifornia, The New Amsterdams

    The end of the cycle is closing in, with you i see new i begin again.
    Ah. Oh jeez. What an intense day, eh? So yeah. blah. stayed home today...too emo to go to school. haha i suck. didnt really do anything. sat around. gosh. sigh. im a deep thinker, eh? ive been really thinking about alex a lot, then nick. but different. sigh. i talked with alex online today, gosh it was so intense. i was seriously going to cry. but not cry in a bad way. sigh blah. then dad came home. he yelled at me a lot, a lot, a lot. loudly and he was angry for no reason. he got right up in my face and stuff. and of course...then i cried. and once i start....all the emotions just run with it. he finally left to walk the dog. i went upstairs, opened my window and got onto my roof. went to a not so steep part and cried. got into an oh so emo position. and cried. like- knees tucked into chest, head bowed down, and arms around knees...holding myself tight. all these thoughts running through my head. like, " wtf is wrong with me that dad always has to yell at me", "why do my parents hate so much", " why doesnt nick tell me he loves me", "why do i have all these feelings, and want Alex so bad and just hold him and kiss him so bad". shit dudes, why do i always have to be thinking? damn. i wonder if alex really does think im pretty. no, not pretty. beautiful. i wonder if hes thinking about me in the same way im thinking about him. gosh. i just get this feeling all over my body. sigh. like that feeling when you wake up on a summer morning and it all just seems so right. or that feeling right after sex. sigh. thats what i feel when i think about him. gosh, he probably thinks im scary. he never seems to enjoy talking to me, as much and i enjoy talking to him. i wonder if he thinks about me as much as i think about him?. sigh. i want someone to think about me just as much or more than the amount i think of them. sigh. commment please.

    i wish,

    i do love nick
    i do have feelings for alex
    and no ones got shit for me.

(Post a new comment)

2004-11-16 19:28 (link)
intense ideed. haha being emo is the best excuse to stay home ever. please don't cry because of me. i hate knowing that you're sad and it's even worse when it's my fault.

"why do i have all these feelings, and want Alex so bad and just hold him and kiss him so bad"
trust me, you're not the only one, because i'm feeling the same thing. and holding you sounds so perfect right now. i wish it was. maybe some day? definately.

yes, i really think you're pretty, beautiful, whatever. you're adorable and i adore you. i think we're thinking in similar ways, although i could be wrong.. it wouldn't be the first time. i always enjoy talking to you, i don't know why you think i don't.

i think about you enough for both of us.

<3 alex

(Reply to this) (Thread)

2004-11-16 19:47 (link)
i want someone to think about me just as much or more than the amount i think of them.
I want that to.

And who is this Alex boy, hmm? You two sound cute.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

2004-11-17 18:07 (link)
Alex is this amazing kid. a really amazing kid. sigh. amazing kid.

<3 katie.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

2004-11-17 18:20 (link)
alex is a loser

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

2004-11-17 20:04 (link)
alex is sexy


(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

2004-11-18 16:18 (link)
i believe you have me mistaken with someone else.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

2004-11-18 20:58 (link)
no, im right.


(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(Post a new comment)

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