Stacie (broken_shard) wrote, @ 2006-12-01 18:21:00

fucking goddamn it!
This is so weird. everyone told me... "wait a few days and he will be begging" and guess what? they were right. he is talking to me again which in a way makes me feel good but so fucking confused at the same time! it is almost like he read my last post! but i know he does not know this is me... or at least here is to hoping.

he has basically told me that what is going on between them is not nearly as good as us. but the fact still remains that he chose to throw five yrs away for some little tart that tickled his prick! i am so so confused

like i said yesturday i am swinging back and forth between wanting to be back with him so desperately and wanting a new start with hopes that someone out there really can love me the way i feel i should be loved and treated.

i am so depressed! what do i do. toss out five yrs for one hurtful and dishonest, nasty set of actions? or take him back and hope that something can be rekindled cause he still loves me and wants to be with me? (i am pretty sure- he is beating around saying it but i am pretty sure that is what he is driving at). Fuck fuck fuckidy fuck!

stacie

tomegatherion 2006-12-01 21:57 (link)

I hink you need to ask yourself whether or not you can ever trust him completely again -- like you did before this. If you get back together with him and he tells you he's going out to a friend's place to watch a hockey game can you believe that he's there and not with aoother woman? "like i said yesturday i am swinging back and forth between wanting to be back with him so desperately and wanting a new start with hopes that someone out there really can love me the way i feel i should be loved and treated." That says a lot about how you feel about the relationship. It doesn't sound like you got all out of the relationship that you wanted. It seems to me that the only thing that's preventing you from telling him to go to hell is fear of the unknown. That's understandable. After 5 years with someone there's a great level of comfort and security, but that's different than love. He's lucky. He has found out that the grass is not as green on the other side of the fence and expects you to take him back. Maybe it's your turn to find out if he really is the one. (Reply to this) (Thread)

broken_shard 2006-12-02 16:10 (link)

i know, and i feel so confused. i was out last night and having a great time with the girls. ended up at some guys house afterwards with them. nothing happened but we made out for a bit and fooled around- no sex- and it felt ok. i think i am coming along but only time will really tell me that. i do miss him but everyone says the same thing... "do you think you can ever trust him again" and i really cant answer that question. if i dont have an answer to that then i dont have an answer to him either. does that make any sense? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tomegatherion 2006-12-02 16:23 (link)
	No, it makes no sense at all, but neither does love. :-) Bob Dylan said "You can't be in love and wise at the same time." It sounds like you're making progress though -- getting out with friends and realizing there are other guys out there. You're doing better than you might think and you will do a little better ever day. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)