DisorientedJellyfish (briansue) wrote, @ 2003-12-08 20:05:00

Current mood:	ranty
Current music:	dar williams

i miss those MN skyways
i'm in a very meh-y mood today. so i'm going to do some rants.

rant 1. people in general.

i'm finding that i have a low tolerence for some types of people lately. i don't like people who lie or make things up so that they feel better about themselves. and for some people it is SO obvious that they are trying to impress people. i also am frustrated when i am expected to be "the calm one". some people expect me to be emotionless and act a very specific way and as soon as they realize i'm not like that, they can't handle it. lately i've had a lot of people saying "wow. i've never heard you say something like that before." or "i'd never expect you to say that!". maybe one day i'll just turn into a completely new person as a sort of screw-you to the world.

i am also sick of having to disregard my feelings in order to make sure other people don't get hurt. i understand that friends are important and pretty much the people i love the most in my life, but how do i decide if i hurt myself or a friend? especially when no matter what i choose means i hurt everyone.

ALSO something amanda and i have talked about A LOT is wanting to talk to teachers about our crazyness this school year but don't want them to think less of us. shouldn't we not be worried about things like that??? mrs.galle is the only teacher i can really talk to and not worry about her thinking i'm insane. i want to trust mr.palmer and mr.edmondson more because they are my other beyond favorite teachers, but i feel that with both of them i have a certain type of me that has to be held up and anything that's not what i think they expect means they'll no longer respect me as much as they do. ESPECIALLY mr.palmer because he and i have a very strange relationship.


WARNING: I've said all of what follows here in past rants. it just happens to be that i am full of passion about the subjects of nfty and such and when i feel like shit school wise, i need it even more. especially when taling to 7 people about how much better nfty is than the rest of life.

2) I MISS BIENNIAL AND KUTZ LIKE CAH-RAY-ZAY! as i say like every 2 seconds, nfty is my love. most of my favorite people are in nfty, the people who understand me more than i understand myself are in nfty, on and on. i completely expect to meet my husband at a nfty event or at a biennial or in kesher/hillel or something of the sort. nfty is my soul-mate. that's all there is to it.

3) not even what i was thinking about, but my husband comment made me think of it. WHY WHY WHY does the HUC make you sign that damn paper saying you won't get into a non-jew relationship? i really want to go there, but what if i fall in love with someone who's not jewish? would they tell me i can't study there? yes! which is SICK. we're REFORM here. REEEEEFFOOOORRRRRMMMMM. now i understand that jews need to reproduce and such, but denying people an education because of something so uncontrolable is awful and slightly NON REFORM.

if i fall in love with a non-jew, props to me. nobody's gonna tell me not to be in that relatioship. so puh to the HUC. i can become a jewish social service person somewhere else.

4) is it college yet?????????????

	superfish 2003-12-09 17:26 (link)
	I think that teachers will respect you more if you take that step and talk to them. You just have to be not whiney, and the teacher has to be a good one. Mr. Edmondson would be good. Mr. Palmer is a good teacher but he seems like he would be very sarcasticy. I don't know. But think this Friday. And next Friday. And then a break of school. So much to look forward to. (Reply to this) (Thread)