| Current mood: |  chipper |
yucky
i feel yucky....but dont worry i'm going to get through this, but i did decide to delete people from my journal who i met through the ed, it's too triggering to read their stuff, also i am not going to really read anyones anymore because anything can be triggering to me and i don't need to add that into my life, it's triggering enough here being with extremely skinny girls and me comparing myself all day long and realizing how fat i truely am. I guess body image is the last thing to get fixed, prob because it gets worse with all the eating i've been doing. they started me on desserts at every meal and it's torture and it's making me crazy, but i'll be okay. I can deal with this. Eating is a normal thing and i should enjoy it like everyone else can. Right? Right! In this fight between me and ED i am so kicking his fucking ass. I am gonna beat this and be the old brenna again because i like having energy and being able to think and talk and make sense and remember how i used to be. Now i'm not saying that i am going to isolate myself from the world because i don't want "triggers" because believe me i know more then anyone that that plan will not be any good, and i know i have to deal with things, i just know i don't need to subject myself to something i know will be triggering. Do i make any sense? haha i'm excited for this weekend i have passes sat and sunday and sat im getting my hair done and stuff with my mom and sunday lauren is picking me up and i;m going to see steff and hang with them for a while. Maybe diana and laura will come too :) lauren is the greatest. Okay i'm off to call my bestest bofe and leave her a LONG message.
(Post a new comment)
(Post a new comment)
|
