If only you knew, then maybe you'd understand! (boyzconfoozme) wrote, @ 2003-10-12 20:42:00

Current mood:	determined
Current music:	"White Flag" -- Dido

Journals.
Journals. These are places where I bear my soul. . .and I think it's obvious what I want. . .but part of me, part of me isn't ready to accept that. . part of me just won't settle down. Part of me wishes I was pregnant with his baby ruining our lives because that would kill the part of me that can't settle down. Well, damn you, slutbag part, you will not win. I love him, and that is that. I said forever and I meant it, and there is no going back. I think I know what I want. . . I just. . . don't know how to get it. I know, I know. Me? Not know how to get what I want. . . I always get what I want, right? Maybe not this time. . maybe I'm actually scared of getting what I want. . . but I'm even more frightened of getting what I deserve. . because I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve him. I don't deserve anything. Please, God, if there is one, for one last time, don't give me what I deserve.

	(Anonymous) 2003-10-14 00:09 (link)
	you deserve more than you think...you deserve my love...i didnt give it to you for no reason...you deserve me....you deserve more than me....your above me....you can do ALOT better than...but you chose to stay...and i'm VERY thankful... (Reply to this) (Thread)