Imori-chan (blue_newt) wrote, @ 2003-11-13 14:58:00

Discontent
I'll begin with Tuesday evening:
I planted some stuff in my garden, then when Mom got home we went to the mall to pick up my DVD. The release date had been pushed back, so Mom bought me a lifesize cardboard Legolas as a condolence prize. Then we went to Chili's and my dad's friend's wife Candy was our waitress, and she doesn't know what a plain hamburger is but Mom gave her a nice tip anyway. Then we came home and I think I went to bed at 9:45.

Yesterday is kinda blurry. It was Ryan's birthday, I know that. And I remember that I went to the library to chill with Katie and Ashley, and I checked out a book called "Beast" by Donna Jo somebody. It was a retelling of "Beauty and the Beast" from the beast's point of view. Very good. We had a test in first period and then I went to English where I seethed at Blair for 80 minutes and chatted with Jacky and Shannon. I think Blair is getting ready to change our seats again soon, and when she does I'm going to be angry. I just get sick of her changing things around constantly! I know my classmates, I know which ones I like to sit with, and I know that I hate the teacher. I also know that I have not learned a single thing in English this year. Not one. Not at all. We covered irony and the elements of literature last year. So what's the point of taking English this year, if only to try my patience?
She asked us how many of us were going on Mr. Honsa's field trip next week, too...only half of us (even day Honsa kids) had heard about it. So she asked who was in Mr. Honsa's class. It turned out to be most of us, because we're across-the-board Honors kids (most of us). She was like, "Oh. Well, I'll be out that day, so I'll have a sub, but I'll still expect you to pick up your questions for 'Tale of Two Cities'...." and continued on to tell us how she'd ONLY be assigning us 8-10 chapters per night to read. Mom nearly flipped when I told her.
During fourth period, we watched videos about smoking. They were disgusting. They showed us people who had gotten various cancers from smoking cigarettes or marijuana or from chewing tobacco and had had to have eyes, nostrils, voiceboxes, tongues, and pieces of lung removed. They showed us people who had holes in their throats, holes that oozed pus and brown mucus constantly. I wanted to puke, especially when they showed the mucus and the empty eye sockets of some of the people...Dear God...I wanted to scream and scream and not stop. I never, ever want to smoke. I never have. I'm so sick of smelling like my parents' smoke, it's not even funny. But I had to sit there and watch that. And then Mrs. Gilray admonished me for reading, and I had only opened the book while she was rewinding the tape. I had a rotten fourth period. Then I got to go to lunch.
Brett and I seem to be on better terms now. He was alright. Or maybe I was alright and it's never been him at all. Since I know that that's what he'd say, I'm obliged to say that it's mostly his fault. We both had some errands to run, but the Gestapo was on patrol. We waited for him to go into a hallway before starting off, and then I went out the back door and up the fire escape stairs to the 564 hallway so I could talk to Mrs. Dobbs. I needed to ask her if I could water the coleus. She said that Mrs. Holt had the keys again, but she'd water them before she left today. Miss Hembree was there. She asked me how I liked her Legolas. I grinned and said that he was pretty, that I'd gotten one of my own last night. She asked if I'd set him up in the corner next to my bed and I was like, "How did you know?" That was exactly what I did. He's between my bed and my closet, right next to his poster on the closet door. ^__^ Left, went to read in the 589 hallway.
Sixth period was alright. We did some balanced equations. I guess I remembered more than I thought I did.

Today:
Picked up a Community Service form. Returned "Beast", since I actually had time to finish it last night. Chilled with Katie and Ashley and listened to the Key Club talk about their junk from behind several bookshelves.
First period: Notes, stuff, boring. Went to the library to check out something that had seemed interesting, called "The Ground Beneath Her Feet". The preppy bimbo who checked out the book for me didn't say thank you, you're welcome, or even give me a due date for the blasted thing. She was too busy talking about someone else's boyfriend with the other girl at the desk.
Third Period: Rieniets told us we'd have another comienzo check soon and said that last time she cut us some slack if we were "disorganized". I broke my mechanical pencil, I was so angry at her. She was rude and sarcastic all period long, always being so snide and hinting at our shortcomings. That is so inappropriate, for a teacher to do that! She told the kids that had been absent on Monday that none of them was making any work up because none of them had come to see her. Maybe they were going to talk to her after class! Maybe they didn't know that there were four of them that had been out and didn't feel like wasting their classmates' learning time on account of one individual! They were probably just trying to be polite, for all she knows! Maybe, like me, they have had teachers in the past who snapped at them if they asked about missed assignments before class! And then...oh, then...we played a little flashcard game with all the pictures from all the classes that had been drawn as homework assignments. Apparently she had had her husband pick through them and select his favorites. Mine was not among them, despite the fact that I spent four hours working on it. FOUR HOURS! FOUR! The 'vestido' that he picked was some five-minute job, some pink outline done in colored pencil. Just an outline, nothing more. So mine was out of proportion. It was a hell of a lot better than THAT! And oh, Eva's was picked. Of course Eva's was picked. Perfect, presumptious little Eva. Katie said that she could see the hate in my eyes when Eva's was shown. I'm glad that Katie's was picked, otherwise I would have walked out of the classroom right then and there without a backward glance. No, nevermind, that isn't all I would have done. I might have ripped apart a few of the room's decorations, first. A couple of posters, maybe, and a map or a calendar. Maybe I would have sworn over and over in possessed tongues how much I hate that class, hate my seat, hate that stupid little bimbo that sits behind me and snatches papers from my hand so fast that they almost cut me and never says thank you. I couldn't have gone without adding how much I hate Mrs. Rieniets and her sarcasm and her constant jabs at us and her condescending little smirks all the time. I hated that class today more than I have ever hated yellow rice. I probably won't get the picture back, considering the time I spent on it and the amount of ink I used to print it.
Fifth period was pretty cool. We took notes and there was a lecture.
Lunch: Sat with Brett and Ashley, since today is Brett's birthday. Gave him his card. Ashley and I had a funny conversation, but I don't remember much of it. I know that they both teased me about going back to the portable early so that I could get my "spot" on the railing outside. Then Ashley said something about betting that there are tunnels under the portables where the teachers can go, kind of part of the "Teacher Teleport" network. When we got into the classroom she took Mr. Honsa's walking stick and started tapping the floor to find hollow spots. She found one by Ryan's desk and marked it "evil spot". That was funny. Ryan and Jacky showed up, and I gave Jacky my extra cookies. Then I gave Ryan his birthday present. It was a sketchbook. I don't know how practical a gift it made. I was going to slip some money inside of it, but I didn't have any left after putting my twenty into Brett's card. So I try to convince myself that I did my best, but I hope it's not working. It was a blue sketchbook. Why am I including these pointless details? So I remember them. It was like my green one, which is why I gave it to him - he really seemed to like the green one, but blue seemed a more suitable color for him. When I gave it to him, he was...really happy. He thanked me like three times, and he asked me when my birthday was and said that he was going to get something for me. He said that no one at school had ever given him a birthday gift. I was very uncomfortable. I told him I didn't want anything, that my birthday was in the winter. Both were true. I didn't give him a gift because I wanted anything in return. I did it because I'm selfish and I do things that make me feel good, and it made me feel good. But it made me uncomfortable. I wasn't trying to be a first. I wasn't trying to be a great person. I was just trying to make myself feel good by making him feel good and to live up to the ideal in my head of what a good friend should be. He seemed so grateful, I just wanted the conversation to end. He said he was going to give me something after Christmas break, and I was like, "Don't bother. You don't have to." Don't bother, Ryan. Just don't. I don't want anything, really. Maybe a hug, but maybe not from you even if I get one. I didn't do it because I'm any kind of a good person - I did it to make myself feel good and to repay a debt. It was a stupid gift anyway. You weren't really supposed to like it. You were just supposed to say, "Oh, thank you," and laugh at my stupidity for believing you.
I didn't think you'd given me the right date.

Monika got a haircut. It's very short. It looks nice, but as I told her: "It's very different and will take some getting used to."
Michelle's hand still looks ugly from her fall this weekend. It's going to scar majorly.
I cut my knee on tackstrip last night and didn't know it until I showered and saw the blood and scabbing. I hope it washes out of my pants. Those are some of my favorite pants.

Imori