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aseret in wonderland (blue_85) wrote,
@ 2007-11-14 23:44:00
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    Current mood: thankful

    Validation is a long time coming
    I spent most of today cleaning out my study room, throwing away a lot of old school assignments and such. I read some of my ones for English and I noticed I kept getting the comment that I have "a strong sense of voice" and that I write "quite fluently".

    I'm quite pleased about that. No, more than pleased... I'm downright relieved. As any writer is, I've always been iffy about my own writing, not believing it's all that good. I mean, I've never known whether I can even legitimately call myself a writer. Comments like that just confirm to me that I'm on the right track, that I shouldn't just give up, but keep going, keep honing my abilities. I know I have a way to go. I don't get nearly enough practice at writing to show much development.

    I mean that's what I like about this blog. It's forcing me to actually sit down, every single day, and just do what a writer should do: WRITE. I sometimes feel a bit like a character in this online comic. He goes around telling everyone he's a rock star, listens to a lot of music, stands around with an electric guitar, writes lyrics... but he never actually performs on stage. Somehow all his buying into the hype is enough to convince him that he actually is a musician, when he's really just living the image.

    Can I really call myself a writer? Every major thing I've written has always been inspired by someone else's universe, not a unique world I've created myself. I know I'm doing something right though, judging by the feedback. I mean my friend posted something I wrote for her work online and there were some really lovely comments about it. Gives me a little kick to know I'm actually reaching people.

    Yet it's not enough for me to just bask in the warm glow of praise. I need to use it to fire my courage, my conviction, to take the next step into my own characters, my own stories. Will next year be my year, where I actually pen some of the ideas floating in my head? I hope so. I pray so. Will faith and belief be enough to carry me through? We'll see, we'll see...

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