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Mrs. Cellophane (blackmarket) wrote,
@ 2003-04-01 16:51:00
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    Current mood: infuriated
    Current music:mu330, vacation

    I'm watching Jane Eyre on A&E and I seriously can't stop crying. Actually I've been flipping through all the channels and everything that is remotely sad or depressing I find myself sniffling. It's really sickening to what sort of creature I have become. A bitching lovesick lie.

    I really really need some sort of motivation. I'm not doing anything but sitting on my ass. I could play my drums or read or draw or write something constructive (not in this stupid thing) but I can't get myself to move. I really can't.

    I don't want to write this but I just hate feeling this way and it needs to go somewhere.

    I really really hate myself, I hate who I have become, I hate the person that I will probably develop into, I hate my frustrastion with myself, I hate my blatant stupidity, I hate not being content with myself, I hate having nothing to inspire me, but most of all I hate being a stupid depressed loser that doesn't do anything but complain.

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2003-11-28 04:13 (link)
hey kute journal...add me? i'll add you.

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2003-11-28 13:17 (link)
Hi this is Blackmarket, I don't use that journal anymore but I do use this one so add this journal instead of the other one.

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2005-10-13 18:41 (link)
I fucking hate people like this. Whoever reads this and feels sorry for this girl is too greatful. For fuck sake kill yourself. The world would be a much better place without you. Whoever can go around saying they hate life and hate themselves desirves no sympathy. Don't feel bad for yourself be greatful what you have. You have a home to fucking live in. I don't care if you get along with the people that live there SO FUCKING WHAT. Theres thousands of people that would fucking kill to live somewhere even with alot of fighting. Instead of freezing to fucking death. You have a computer. Alot of people are to fucking poor to have a fucking computer yet you want to be dead. Then you deserve everything you get. If you can't enjoy your life you don't deserve your life. I know alot of people who were so fucking happy. They loved themselves they enjoyed everyday they woke up. They died. You have a life you do SHIT with. You hate it. They didn't get to live their whole life as you might have. I'm sure if they went back they would have done the same thing. They wouldn't say they hated life EVER. Even if they knew they were going to die. So if you hate yourself people.. If you don't enjoy what you have or greatful for every fucking day. Then go die. You don't deserve our air.

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