clover (blackclovers) wrote, @ 2003-09-16 18:14:00

Current mood:	lonely
Current music:	johnny cash- hurt

its been awhile
my parents went out of town for a week or so, i just finnished raiding the medicine cabnet, i found three things,
1. mirapex, a pill used to help ease the syntoms of parkenson's disease, it also has a side effect of hullisniations
2. topamax, i forgot at the moment what this one was for
3. skalaxin, a prescription muscle relaxer, and a old favorite
i also baught some 30mg adderals today, my school is a playground for an aspiring pill poper
.......


but, besides the new drugs my lifes pretty shity.
the biggest thing is that im bored,
not bored as in "theres nothing to do at the moment"
im tired of living, i havent been really depressed lately, im just bored
well, bored and lonely, but thats ok i guess,
i go to school every day, i have a pretty well developed social life now,
but they dont know me. they just know what i show them, and they beleave it.
i have yet to find a person who is the same as me.

to be honnest
i miss jessica, no one ever hurt me like she did
i could feel when i was with her
she took her pain and made it mine

me having her felt better then me not having anyone

+

i learned something ironic today,
i know a kid with down syndrom, he's kind of my better side
iv know him for a while now, i talk to him because he's funny
and retarded

anyways, i was eating lunch with a kid i know and a few other people, we were talking about him.
one of the kids i was eating with said he used to know him before he devoloped down syndrome
he said he used to be a really big bully (this was in like 2nd grade)
he said he was really mean to everyone.

i thought it funny because he was talking about a retarded, overweight kid, a kid who used to give me hugs every day. as soon as i would walk into gym class he could come hobbiling up with two fingers pointed in the air, the other hand on the side of his face, all while yelling my name, well my name with a slur at the end. lol

::sigh::
memories

o well, im sorry for not posting in here more, i'll try to get around to it more offten

love
-clovers-

(Reply from suspended user)

	...... blackclovers 2003-09-20 10:36 (link)
	then talk to me (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(Reply from suspended user)