clover (blackclovers) wrote, @ 2003-12-01 18:15:00

Current mood:	discontent
Current music:	mogwai-don't cry (guns 'n roses cover)

cold
very very odd day, not at all like I expected.
I expected to come home, my father gone, I hade the highest expectations for today, no reason, I just thought today would be a grand day.
my father was gone when I got home, but he arrived soon after. I spent the afternoon cleaning out the storage room.
I had a pretty decent day, though, it just seemed to go pretty good, I found out im passing English, as im sure you care, lol
but anyways, I have a 79 in there, which is a lot higher then my expected F

I did however get some troubling news, my friend, lee, who originally moved here from England is going to move back in a year.
it takes a lot for me to care about another person, and iv only known lee for a short time, but alas I am saddened by it
and damn, this is the best song iv herd in a long time, even if it is live.
I miss good music, I miss music strong enough to make me cry.
I miss having something to cry about
loll, I need Jessica, my ex from Jacksonville.
she was such a miserable pathetic thing.
all she did was drag me down.
but when I look back on all the times we had, I smile.
I know its wrong, but she hurt me so bad, and it felt so good.
I know iv mentioned it before, but she was the person who got me cutting.
and I still have a scar on my wrist, 11 inches long, from my palm to my elbow.
I said I made it for her.
......I have a lot of scars....
.......................................
.....................................


and this, this started out as a happy letter.
I guess it cant be helped
but I wish, I wish I had someone who could understand
someone who would understand

goth_fae 2003-12-21 17:57 (link)

sorry to hear about how lee is gunna have to move away, but hey, maybe you two can keep in contact via chat rooms or somethings. personally, i tend to think of scars as reminding merrits of our lives. the survivings of hard times like being a dumb ass and trying that jump on your bike when you knew you couldnt make it but refused to step away from that dare, or a cat spazzing out in your arms. thats a pretty big scar you got going on there...when i myself was into cuttings i never went deep enough to make something like that, was into paper cut inflictions with a razor to help realive that inner pain through the physical. ps: lol, sorry for such a large comment. anywho, hope you dont mind me adding you to my friends list and feel free to do the same in return! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	blackclovers 2003-12-26 17:56 (link)
	n/p and thanks for your compashion (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)