bl0ndef00l (bl0ndef00l) wrote, @ 2004-08-20 23:19:00

Current mood:

confused

so confused
So I get a call at 4:00 pm and guess who it is? Yeah, finally he calls me. I get so excited to hear the ring I have that goes to his number. I need to control myself. I thought I was going to let myself be ok, and not let my heart just completely get run over. I need to be strong. So I talk to him and we talk about school and what's been going on since the last time we saw each other. We talked for like 2o minutes and then his mom's boyfriend called so he had to go. He said he would call me later. So I wait, and I never get a call. I get ready with Kimi and Amanda to go out tonight. Amanda does my make-up soooo perfectly. She should be working at the MAC counter, I swear. So we go out to BurgerKing and eat some nasty greasy food...but it's so good. I hate bad food. Anyways, we went to Dutch Brothers to go see Shea and Danielle...and I was secretly wondering if Branden would be there. Then they both wanted to get high, and I didn't want to so Kimi and I left. When I finally pull into the street to get to my house, the phone rings and it's Branden. "Come to Dutch Brothers!" he says. I said that all of my friends are busy. I said maybe my sister would come, so he's like "Yeah bring her!" but then Kimi sees some girls she knows and jumps out of the car. The phone starts cutting out, and I don't get a signal. I decide to go out and drive to Dutch Brothers, but on my way, I get some sense knocked into me. It's like I'm running after this guy. I feel extremely lame,...then turn back the way I came from. I wasn't going to let myself get caught up in all of this heartbreaking bullshit. So I came home. Got some water... and jumped on here because A) I am bored, and B) I can't go to sleep. Then RING RING. Branden calls and says that the phone cutted out, and that he was sorry. He told me to come, but I said everyone else was busy. Then he said it was ok, and that he'd call me later. So here I am, sitting, typing on this computer. I want to know what will happen with me in the future. Will I ever find someone that I can truley relate to, and love? I want someone to be there for me, because I feel like the only person in this world that's there for me,....is, me.

	x0tear_dropx0 2004-08-21 16:41 (link)
	(Reply to this) (Thread)

	jacquie 2004-08-21 21:32 (link)
	damn you have no idea how thats exactly what ive wanted to write in my journal and everything ive been going through. i thought i was crazy but yeah my point is... theres other people who feel the same stuff you do. so stay strong.... you'll find what you're looking for (Reply to this) (Thread)