Harmony (bitter_abyss) wrote, @ 2002-11-15 22:32:00

Long Days
Its been a long day. Not that I've done much, its just that sitting in the hospital all day makes my body ache...I need to be outside walking around *instant twinge of guilt* Ugh...there I go thinking of myself again. Laura is asleep...she sleeps most of the day and she doesnt talk much when she is awake...she seems so...well, vacant. Its like even though she is alive her vitality has been sucked out of her.

Sitting here also gives me too much time to think. I've been thinking about the person I always thought I would be and the person I actually am. I hate my life, but at the same time by doing nothing about it, I sort of choose it. You know how when you are younger you always feel that you are destined for greatness, although very few of us actually are. Some of us are fortunate enough to realize this early on, while the rest of us end up like me..in our mid 20's and up still chasing after childhood fantasiies, when, if we had realized it as teenagers we could have done something usefull with our lives. BLAH...its not healthy for me when I think too much. I need to go watch TV and let it think for me...lol

	Nutty Bar sexfaeries 2002-11-15 23:15 (link)
	Good thought! But I am gonna have to bite you now! If you dont like where you are change it! Think of everything you could be in the next few years that you would DREAD to be. Use that to movite you! Live now and Die tomorrow! Just dont actually die on me ::YELLS and uses hands to signal this:: YOU PROMISED! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: Nutty Bar bitter_abyss 2002-11-15 23:26 (link)
	Well thats just it...I dont know what I want to do anymore...I have nothing to reach for...nothing looks good to me, nothing I can do at least. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Nutty Bar sexfaeries 2002-11-15 23:41 (link)
	Not even me on your body? *sniffs* :'(!!! Well your a perfect candiate for web design! Your poetry is Marvelous! Has a great sence of style and deep seeded sediments of value and emotion. Have you tried sending out your poetry to be published! I still believe the book is a good thing. Plus great thearpy(sp?) for you! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Nutty Bar bitter_abyss 2002-11-15 23:48 (link)
	Well, I suppose I could do that, but I have to make a living in the mean time...I have no useful skills..ugh (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	digitaldreamer 2002-11-16 04:08 (link)
	::hugs:: Hey gf.. It's Nancy. I thought this new journal was a better foil for me :) Plz add this to your friends list.. and we gotta talk on how you got your journal so pretty without telling me your secrets. Much love Nance (Reply to this) (Thread)

bitter_abyss 2002-11-16 09:28 (link)

Lol...I think you have as many different user names here as I do! This will be my main one....anywho...as far as the layout goes....I'll send you some of the files I used to make it...it takes a .png art file and you have to install the code but I will walk you through it...this was my first layout but I thought I did fairly well...the image you will need to edit has layers to make it easier for me, so I'll just send that to you (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	So! sexfaeries 2002-11-16 21:41 (link)
	Okay Harry Potter movie isnt that much fun..uhm..thought we were going to chat. Wondering what tomorrow be like and be back in 5 mins have to make a call! Have fun (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: So! bitter_abyss 2002-11-17 14:31 (link)
	I would give you an explanation, but does it really matter? Im sorry. I will be on today though...I promise! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: So! sexfaeries 2002-11-17 16:05 (link)
	That you cut my heart in a million thousand ways! That you ripped out every single emotion! NOPe! Hehe Sorry thats BULLSHIT on my part. I guess its the pain from my ears that makes me bitchy now!!! I think I am gonna go deaf. That or I will start gushing blood from them! Oh it doesnt matter that you werent on! I knew you werent gonna be...call it intution! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

T.V. as surrogate mind verbena 2002-11-22 13:47 (link)

I love letting the T.V. think for me now and then. Especially lately. I'm sorry to read that your friend is in the hospital! What's wrong with her? I tried to get caught up but it seems you just started here! This is my first day at blurty, and so far I like it better than where i was before. It's also a bit quicker than livejournal, though it seems exactly the same otherwise. Anyway...I added you. :) V (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: T.V. as surrogate mind sexfaeries 2002-11-23 02:34 (link)

Her friend was in a car accident. She I believe hit her head and was out of it for several days. Not so long go she came to. The poor girl's mother refused to see her. So being that bitter_abyss is a good nature person(Regardless what she thinks of herself!) has stayed at the hospital by her friends side. All this long. All this happened around two or three sundays ago. Bitter is updating more on her old journal than this one. Hope this helps! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: T.V. as surrogate mind bitter_abyss 2002-11-23 13:27 (link)
	Hey sorry it took so long for me to get back to you...it looks like sexfaeries got you caught up on a lot for me. I had a journal at Live Journal, but I havent updated it since July...hehe. I also have on at uJournal...thats my main one I guess. Im still trying to get used to this one but I like it so far....Oh and I'll add ya back :) ~Harmony (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)