| Current mood: |  indifferent |
| Current music: | The Pillows/ Little Busters |
::yawns:: fucking bored ::beats head on keyboard::
oh shit i havent written in here in forever.....who fucking cares....well im indifferent about today...not sure weather to be happy or just down.....i have nothing to do as usual....cant say much about whats on my mind....dont know if i ever will.....doubt it though....oh nevermind that.....well here i am sitting listening to the pillows funky japanese band.....kinda puts a smile on my face...but an awkward smile....like happy but not really happy...oh wells who ever has felt that way will know what im talking about the other well you just wait till a lot of bad shit has happened to you in your life...hmmm, well like i was saying i dont know what to do and if i had a car i might just drive it off a peer....sounds like fun...maybe hit a couple of people on the way....why cant i have some weird robot living in my head.....that comes out and saves things.....oh well....thats never going to happen unless i volunteer myself for some experiment...that sounds like fun.....now what else to say....well it seems like my friend alex and i are going to give miranda someone to fuck...i hope kates ready....she doesnt know what she is getting herself into......yoly wants to hang out today.....im broke but i know i wouldnt be paying for anything....i mean she is doing it cause its my birthday....other then that i dont ever think i would hang out with her on a weekday....kinda sucks how it lands on the weekday...i think its a curse....fuck it to hell....at least ill be 21 and i get to drink....dont think thats going to be much of a use since i can careless for drinking now....i can handle it but....i dont know....it just doesnt seem to excite me as much as it did when i was 15 or 14....back then drinking and smoking were so much fun...even birthdays...well sometimes....tends to rain on my birthday....heh all i have on me is 2 dollars.....i wonder what i can buy...maybe a pack of dorritos and a soda can....yuck i hate soda!!....well maybe some fruit punch....that would be good.....heh......well those thoughts are back in my head...just when you think you got rid of them they come back....and its not easy....im sure a lot of people go threw it....alex does...and he is the one telling me to just say whats on my mind but i just cant.....i know it wont change anything if i do or cause anything to go crazy or change.....but somehow i just cant say them......i have tried but it just doesnt come out....even when i was drunk i tried to get my thoughts out in the open but it doesnt seem to work.....you could call me spineless....but sometimes it seems that it just not intresting enough to say....oh wells im going to shut up now...my friend left to dominican republic i wont speak to her for 10 days hope she has fun......and i dont see me going to sleep anytime soon.....maybe if i burn a cd full of music from The Pillows i will...that and play a game at the same time....heh ::sighs:: im just going to stop writing now and find something to do....like play game on my computer and explore the net like ill find anything but its worth a shot....adios....hasta luego....::waves bye::.....
now that you have read this...what are you going to do?
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