chelle (b_chelle) wrote, @ 2003-09-14 23:58:00

Current mood:	contemplative
Current music:	young hearts run free

I hate feeling helpless. Seeing people that you love and care about hurting is one of the worst feelings in the world. But having them not open up to you or run away hurts even worse. It kills me to see people upset. I am still in my 5 year old mentality where everyone should be happy, I guess. When you are 5, people don't run away to igloos, or hide out in locations unknown, or sit in front of your face and tell you they just don't want to talk about it. When you are 5, you tell people what's wrong, and you get it all out, and then 10 minutes later you go outside and play on the playground. Maybe if you would just get it all out we could go play on the playground....

I feel like I cling to my relationships with boys a lot more latly. It makes me feel safe, I guess. Somehow it's just comforting to know that I have guys around to give me the blantant truth. But the truth can suck too. Too often I have been coined with the term "little sister" or "one of the guys". Now, I admit that I am not much of a girly girl. So maybe being "one of the guys" isn't so bad. But when that is all you are seen as for so long, you start to notice that the guys are looking right past you to the girly girls. Being one of the guys means that you aren't seen as a girl. You aren't seen as alluring or attractive or sexy. You are seen as a friend. The friend label is so hard to shrug off.



ps. hi daveed. can we gossip now? because i dooOOoooO00ººoo love yoOOooo000u.

	cameron_r 2003-09-15 01:21 (link)
	Let's go play on the swings, Chelle (Reply to this) (Thread)

	b_chelle 2003-09-15 01:23 (link)
	Please. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cameron_r 2003-09-15 01:27 (link)
	... -giggles uncontrolably- (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	b_chelle 2003-09-15 01:27 (link)
	oh law. no one will ever take me seriously again, will they? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cameron_r 2003-09-15 01:35 (link)
	WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE ALL THE TIME??!?!??! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	b_chelle 2003-09-15 01:37 (link)
	I AM NOT -uses vixen icon so as not to be cute- (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cameron_r 2003-09-15 01:37 (link)
	OHHHH HOT (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	b_chelle 2003-09-15 01:39 (link)
	-creams- (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cameron_r 2003-09-15 01:51 (link)
	-smirks, taunts you- (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	b_chelle 2003-09-15 02:06 (link)
	-dies of over creaming- (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	david__ 2003-09-15 23:52 (link)
	hi this is late. Yes we can and omfg HAHAHALKDJFIEOWJFLKDSFL (Reply to this) (Thread)

	b_chelle 2003-09-16 01:49 (link)
	omg can we? because i've had too much wine and gossiping while i'm drunk is the best (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chris_hayden 2003-09-17 15:48 (link)
	. . . I wish I was 5 again too. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	b_chelle 2003-09-17 23:24 (link)
	-frowns- Can we be 5 together? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chris_hayden 2003-09-18 21:04 (link)
	In a few weeks, of course we can. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)