| Current mood: |  uncomfortable |
| Current music: | Phish cd |
ive been wading in the velvet sea
im going to attempt to write an entry*
no one really reads this any more so im just using it to orgainise my thoughts but thats so hard right now because there are so many thoughts going in my head right now and some r secrets i cannot share
todays christmas eve but i dont feel like its christmas i thought it was suppose to be happy but all i feel is depression right now. dont get me wrong im not a suicidal case or anything but lately my life hasnt been going all that great for me. The last two nights were ssoooo crazzy but i dont think i can share yet until it all gets out and i dont want to be the one to tell I think i might like someone i dont think i should but im not sure yet
im mostly upset because of my family ever since my dad died its just been so fucked up my moms got a boyfriend whos such a dickhead and maybe im being out of hand because i havent actually talked to him in any resonable manner yet but im sorry if im not ready for my mom to date and then he had the fucking nerve to come over tonight and fucking preach to me. everyone says their worried about me and it makes me feel good that people care i dont like to talk to people about my feelings and it really mkes me mad because when i talk to my mom about it i always end up crying and when i tell her how i feel she just fucking ignores me and goes out again doesnt she get shes ruining my happiness sometimes i just start crying and it sucks because i feel like such a bitch because i know there are people who r out there who have it way worse then me and that is when i stop crying
will asked me if i would hook up with him tonight but i dont know cause i think i kindof like someone else and it sucks but i think he might like me but i dont want to jinx anything
lately ive wanted to just do yoga and listen to my music and ive wanted to surf so fucking bad but its cold and it sucks so bad and hang out with my friends and well yea smoke i have wanted to alot more lately but it cant be addictive so i dont know whats up
I also think some people have it so good and they dont even notice, like my bestfriend shes one of the prettiest people i know and shes sooo sweet and i hate even to stand next to her because it makes me feel ugly but people say im pretty so i should try not to be hippicritical but shes amazing and i dont know where i would be without her my friends r all amazing and i love them so much
life is so fucking craazy
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 | Beautyyyyiful caitlin 
(Anonymous)
2003-12-31 09:49
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Haha.. I look at everyones journal daily.. even yours. So.. I know you havent been posting, and just because someone doesnt comment doesnt mean there not reading. Lol.. Well, since you have a blurty.. if you do public then those are the only ones I can read.. so.. yea, i'll ttyl bud. Youuuuuu areeeeee sooooooooo beautiful! damnit haha (Reply to this) (Thread) |
| Re: Beautyyyyiful caitlin
(Anonymous)
2004-01-02 15:49
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aww thanks babe lol i thought it might be
riiight on kelly ggood job lol
love you sooooo much nick!!
and kelly heh
xoxo caitlin(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread) |
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