| Current mood: | nervous |
| Current music: | Black & Blue - Counting Crows |
i don't know why, but i was just overwhelmed by this feeling of fear. of being out of control and lost and confused and just goddamned confused. like i want to cry and cry and scream. but i don't think it would help. and i don't know what would. i don't want to be touched. i don't want to be talked to. i just want to hide. listen to music and cut and hide. just cry and disappear. until i feel better. instead, tho, i'm at work. i'm afraid of blowing up at people. i'm tired of falling apart in front of them. i'm tired, afraid, confused, and very very volatile.
tina: i wish i was walking down pearl street with you, too. atleast then i wouldn't be at work. atleast then i would have something to do except dwell on this emotion. i'll blow the mountains a kiss for you. let them know you miss them.
i think i'm going to go drown my sorrows in a large mug of water and a diet coke. i'm going on a 24 hour fast which began at eight a.m.
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