// Better than Abby Help-alot ] (askus) wrote, @ 2003-05-25 16:25:00

Anon writes:
My bf broke up with me an went wif my best friend. i want to kill myslef. What should I do?

Well, Anon, you have a few options here.
Option 1:
You can stop living in the dream world of bad American Soap operas and come to realize that both your best friend and ex-bf are better off without you, and you them, and move on with your angst-ridden life.
Option 2:
You can systematically poison their water supplies.
Option 3:
You can admit defeat over such a pathetic thing and kill yourself. Now, beware, if you choose this option, you will have to come up with a preferred method of suicide, I'm not sure if you're capable of doing such a thing on your own and so I will leave you with some classic ways of "offing yourself" as it has been affectionately referred to.

Method 1:
Take a simple noose and hang yourself. A note about betrayal should accompany this, perhaps stapled to your forehead. That's really up to you.

Method 2:
Find a tall structure (bridge, tall building etc), walk carefully to the edge of it, take 10 steps backwards, breathe deeply, then take a run up and throw yourself off the edge. This is a messy way to do it, demands more attention if done in a busy area.

Method 3:
Dress up in your mother's wedding dress, turn on an overhead fan (one hanging from a roof) and, using a similar noose to that mentioned in method 1, proceed to hang yourself FROM the fan. This gives the suicide a comical touch for that who finds you.

I'm glad you felt brave enough to ask me such a stupid question anonymously, I hope I was of some help.

	Anon and her question:):) (Anonymous) 2008-04-07 19:06 (link)
	I dont want to sound rude or anything at all... but i must disagree, i dont think that is a stupid question: it really would hurt me and i would want some reassurence and answers on how to handle it! But that is my opnion and u answer the questions.... (Reply to this) (Thread)