|Current mood:|| contemplative|
A beautiful album, a beautiful artist- Goapele's cd is breathtaking.
Sure perked up my day having found new music!
I'm in Fla. visiting the parentals- and as usual this town is boring the shit outta me.
I don't know how Cisco survives here- yes he makes his living here but I could never tear myself away from the city, now that I've lived in it. Yes he is slowly reaching his dreams but did it have to be here?
Every time I come here I get sorta depressed knowing that this State holds someone that has captured my heart and affections. But then it dawns on me that he RESIDES here -and I , thousand of miles away. I love him selfishly and I refuse to put myself through that torture.
So every time I come here, I just wander the town wanting to see him but never martyr enough to make the painful act of crossing over.
Cuz if i do there's no going back.
And who knows what the other side holds.
I'm past it, the whole Cisco thing, plus he has changed and so have I.
If I was able to get over Gabe , I can get over Cis, matter of fact I already have.
He lives his life and mine goes on.
With out him. Perhaps someday our paths will cross but along with everything else in my life- I gotta do me first.
But when will I ever find him? Who is him-- I have no fucking idea- but Prince Charming sure is playing hide n go seek that son-of-a-bitch!
The one to come home to, the one to hold me, the one to instill my fears, dreams, and wipe away my occasional tear?
Although I hold strong, I'm lonely and am waiting for that moment when I can love unconditonally all over again.
But right now- it's Ma Runnin Dolo-
It's just the way it's gotta be...
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