|Current mood:|| annoyed|
|Current music:||Beloved--Defect from Decay|
so i have decided that i need to disappear. i need to go to a far away land where no one can bother me and tell me how to be. i am perfectly aware of what is right and what is wrong. i still trust in the Lord and im not loosing my faith. if anything, im holding onto it for dear life. no one understands what im going thru right now and how hard it's been for me lately. there are too many things going on at once, and i feel like my head will explode. i want things to be better in my life so badly it makes me cry, but there is nothing i can do about it. i have no control over anything, and i feel like im just floating along. with the exception of a few friends, no one knows or cares what my life has been like, how im feeling or what is going thru my head. everytime i start to feel better, i get kicked down again and im sick of it. leave me alone!!! it's hard enough trying to figure things out with out being bashed on somehow.
im not really looking for any kind of relationship right now, unless some awesomely stable christian man comes and sweeps me off my feet, but that's another story and out of my hands. im happy being on my own and it's something i have needed for a long time. it has always been about everyone else, but now for once it's about me. i have time to myself and i don't have to worry about things i used to have to worry about. right now, that's exactly what i need. i can clear my head and figure out what i want and what i dont need, and also make any necessary changes in myself. i can concentrate more on school with less distractions. i'm keeping my eyes on the cross and on my future career. im hoping to move to philly after i graduate. i might live with my sister in jersey for a lil bit till i can get my own place in philly, so i'm not worried. once i get to philly, i will be with all my family and i'm sure they can help me out. and i want a dog, really bad. a puppy just for me. so we'll see what God has in store for me. patients...it's all about the patients.
blah, so now i will attempt to nap for a bit before i go buy some foam core for my project that is due tomorrow and then go to work. this week has flown by, much like my life. have a good day/weekend. Praise God.
(Post a new comment)
Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans for welfare |
and not for calamity, to give you a future and hope.”
Sarah, don't get discouraged. You've some so far since all this nonsense started,
and I'm so proud of you for it. I know it's hard, but it will get easier, no doubt.
I love you & I'm here for you if you need me.
PS-Today I saw a squirrel LICKING a tissue. Werd.
<3 Sara Sags
(Reply to this) (Thread)
(Post a new comment)