| Current mood: |  anxious |
| Current music: | Tristania - "Of ruins and a red nightfall" |
geist-seele-wille-zelle
I feel weird.
My hands are all cold and my teeth are shivering. I dont wanna go to this therapist.
where is my mind?
surely I've lost it ...
((there's no beauty in what I am, what I do, what I say and what I think. there's no hope, no kindness, no deception, no reality.))
I ... need ... people
f
r
i
e
n
d
s
.
.
.
but there are none ...
and I tell myself I'm okay with it
take the razor blade and forget it?
no, I don't want to.
yes, the blade helps, of course, but nothing can make me feel okay with myself
nothing can take the fear that chokes a smile on my face, smile on my face, smile on my face, runaway, runaway, runaway
creepy little thoughts, whispering of pills, blades, drowning ...
what happened to me? where did I lose myself?
I want to live, do I not?
it's an aggressive kind of not caring, it hurts, maybe even destroys ...
I'll shut up.
((get a life, girl, sorry girl))
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