hi again.. im feeling better that i talked to hiroshi but still i realized something.. that made me feel like shit.. i called me and asked to hang out and he said why and i said im bored so we are like just walking down one of the main roads and we are just talking and stuff.. and then he starts to talk about emily.. hes like you seen emily? emilys so great right? emily and i did this and that and then after that im like woahh are you like in love with emily thats all you talk about and hes like yea i love her and i swear i could hear my heart brake in half when i heard him say that.. then he started saying of emily is 19 we could get married and im was going was going to scream but instead i told him i had to go.. as i walked home leaving him behind i cried and cried and cried and cried and then i walked all the way to hanas house.. i talked to her about what he said and she said that i looked heart broken and i was.. then hana said she had to go somewhere and i stayed by her house myself and just watched tv until she came back.. when she came back the first thing she said was i talked to hiroshi and i was going to kill her! she told me that she didnt tell him anything.. so i was a bit happy for that..
right now part of me is telling me that NO! NO! NO! REN..HIROSHI IS NOT FOR YOU!! and then the other part is saying HIROSHI IS GOOD FOR YOU..HES THE RIGHT GUY FOR YOU REN MAKE A MOVE BEFORE HIM AND EMILY GET MARRIED..im too mixed with emotions.. this isnt love..im soo stupid i bet i dont even love him... see u soon..
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