| Current mood: |  sad |
| Current music: | "Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't", Brand New |
"I am the cause to all your problems."
Eloquently put, my mindframe is "Fuck this."
Today was just one of those crappy days. It was cold, rainy. I wasn't even planning to write in this journal today because I was feeling so bogged down. I thought that meant I'd have to write about Williamsburg and the rest of spring break.
But I don't have to, since I'm writing for myself. Well, I probably won't care about whether I had fun in Williamsburg last week ten years later or whenever I look back on this sometime in the future.
*shrugs*
Now I'm just babbling.
At least I have an idea for another "Young and Green" comic.
And the Young Greens meeting today was pretty good and we got a lot of work done, compared to the previous meeting. We planned out our Day of Silence. I volunteered to do whatever was needed, so Rae told me I could make stickers. That will be fun, I think. ^^
After Young Greens, Charlie and I sat in Ms. Leizear's court room. I showed him the Homestar Runner site. He thought it was retarded. Heheh. I <3 Homestar Runner.
Being with Charlie did not help my mood though.
He told me someone said I was getting attached to him, and I told him that wasn't true (it really isn't!!), then demanded to know who said that, but he wouldn't tell me. -_-
Evil.
After Charlie left school, I hung out with Becca, Claire, Jenna, Linnea (who got her hair cut; it's very pretty and pixieish), Sean ("Frankie"), Wendy, Will, and Corey (Mitchell). We played with a troll we found; I took it home with me and named it Humpty Dumpty, or Humpy for short (because Wendy said she humped it). Claire said she was moving to Virginia next year, and that made me even more sad. ;_;
Mom picked me up, and Wendy, who had seen my mom before, asked me if she was my grandmother. My mom's graying hair (she stopped dying it because my dad said it would give her cancer, and she also got it cut) made her think she was my grandmother. My mom vowed to start dying her hair again. She drove me to Dr. Gaffney, my new therapist at St. Joe's ED Center. Wonder how long this one'll last.
Then we went home briefly (and I started typing this but was interrupted) before going back to St. Joe's to see Dr. Crawford and Ms. Kauffman.
I was dreading seeing Dr. Crawford, but this time, he wasn't quite as bad. He actually laughed once. *gasp*
I still feel down though. Stupid depression, SAD, and rainy days.
Seriously though. Everyone has a best friend, or best friends, except me. I have certain people in my life whom I love, like Sarah and Ed, but no best friends, because everyone else already has one, two, or a few (if that makes any sense). It's depressing.
I sometimes feel like I'm taken for granted. I mean, I don't blame them, and if I were someone else, I'd take me for granted too. Everything is my fault, after all. But it still hurts.
I may not tend to be someone who is fond of labels, but I am seriously turning into an emo kid.
"I think I'll go cry now."
Rain, rain, go away, come again another day... like after I die (which probably won't be too soon, therefore there will just have to be a drought in the Baltimore area for the rest of my life, or until I want the rain to come back).
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(Anonymous)
2004-04-14 11:06
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ahem? no bestest friends.. excuse me?!?!?! I'D BE YOUR BESTEST FRIEND!!! BUT DO YOU TALK TO ME NOOOOOOO!!! lol No, serious, talk to me more! I miss you!!!! If i'd live closer, i'd be ur bestest friend! And remember, people can have more than one best friend, so get in there!!! (Reply to this) (Thread) |
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(Anonymous)
2004-04-14 17:38
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alright this is what i don't get. is there a journal at home you can write this in? does it feel better for you to talk about all your problems on the internet where other people will read it? are you looking for pity or motivation? some things i dont understand. why do you want to tell your friends/whoever reads your journal that wendy asked that about your mom and now she will dye her hair? It's not like I'm anti-sad....but instead of writing .."i feel so emo" "im so depressed" "my mindframe is fuck you"....in ur livejournal....why dont you write about it at ur own private journal? why do you WANT to share all this? and like when you wrote "everything is my fault" what do you want people to say to that? "yeah your right...it's all your fault"?? are you just looking for some praises here? (Reply to this) (Thread) |
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(Anonymous)
2004-04-14 18:07
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dude ur haaaaaaaaaarsh, if u dont like it dont read it
Beth, ur pretty cool so dont let this meanie ruin ur day
n i like catching up w/ beth on this every now n again, i feel like i kno her better
c ya tom beth
luv michelle(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread) |
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(Anonymous)
2004-04-14 18:23
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yeah you're kinda dumb because beth can write what she wants to write in her journal without anonymous people who are too afraid to leave their name commenting on it. so get over what she writes or don't read it.
rachel(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread) |
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(Anonymous)
2004-04-14 21:26
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I don't understand why people waste their time spamming journals with "don't write this here". What about "don't read it!" Hah! Gotcha' there! Woo! Common sense! O_O
Anywho. Beth. -hug- I love you, whether you consider me a best friend or not. =3 I got a RedOctane pad and Max2, so if you wanna' come over and play, let me know. Call sometime! ^-^
Sarah(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread) |
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(Anonymous)
2004-04-23 21:47
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...about having a best friend...
I know exactly how that feels.
Everyone seems preoccupied with everything and coming from a minority school is...harsh.
I don't even go to church, like you, so my ways of meeting people are limited.
And I have problems talking with people sometimes.
I hate it, but you know, sometimes you just gotta suck it up, even if it is sad.
Tough stuff happens.
All you can do is put the past behind you and move on love.
man, I make myself depressed.
But I guess what I'm trying to say is I know what you're going through and I'm here for you Beth.
♥♥♥
BonBon(Reply to this) (Thread) |
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