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Laura (analyzethat) wrote,
@ 2004-04-08 19:59:00
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    Current mood: aggravated

    Rollercoasting Down
    So I thought that things were well. I didn't realize how cold and calloused I've gotten towards holidays. I don't know if it's my parents I don't get along with or the idea of forced smiles and semi-formal wear. I seem to not get along with a lot of things. I don't look forward to anything anymore. The Easter Bunny doesn't make me want to stay up all night to see if he really hides our eggs and Santa Clause doesn't seem to bring Christmas Magic or even cheer for that matter to my life. Is it just me? Or have holidays taken a toll on a lot of people. I just don't enjoy them like I used to. Am I being selfish? I feel like I am constantly living a routine, I am fitting a mold and I hate that. I hate being what I am expected to be. I love the idea of packing up and moving out of state to catch a breath at life. Moving back home in a year, 2 years or even 6 months doesn't make me want to hang my head in shame, I'll still have my pride, under my parents' roof of course. Maybe I'll actually make it though. Maybe I will never have to move back in. I'm sick of being typical. I am sick of being broke and I am sick of being tied down like a straight jacket. At least if I was wearing that I'd be able to breathe. Oh and I hate cars.

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hello laura's breedom
2004-04-08 21:52 (link)
i totally feel the aggrivation you are feeling and then some. i am moving to florida if i haven't told you already. i was supposed to leave today but my car is a piece of is in the shop as i write this to you. we have already spent almost 2 grand on it and the past week, i dont even think we've paid that much on it sure is unpredictable, but all i can say from reading your "thoughts...or rantings" you have made my hectic life happy for the split seconds that i have read them. And the more i think about it, i really do miss you. you are such a good person, someone who would always be a TRUE friend, and i'm just sorry that i never got to know you even better, or spend more time with you for that matter, and i might as well just stop because i'm probably starting to sound gay...but i am just so lost right now and i wish that i had someone to fall back on, and reading your messages has helped me i guess. so if you ever want to you can email me at or call me at 850=529=3217 i hope things go better for you!

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