Aim B (amelieb) wrote, @ 2005-04-26 21:32:00

Detroit to Windsor, Windsor to Montreal
Ches told McGill he will be attending next fall.

Ever feel completely void of abilities to express yourself? I have that right now.

I feel:
*happy because he finally decided where he's going
*sad because I'll never see him
*selfish for always thinking about how it'll affect me
*inadequate because i was his incentive for ann arbor, which he declined
*excited because we're both going to meet so many people
*scared because i don't know if i can do things without him
*stupid because i'm immature and being selfish

and so many other things

i know it's not a big deal to a lot of people out there. i know most couples break up before college. but we want to be different. we want to stay together. or atleast i do. am i silly for thinking we'd be able to? we're going to be so far apart. do i matter that much to him?

i don't know what to say. i don't even know how i feel yet.

i really thought that i would be enough for him to go to umich. but i know he'll be happier at mcgill. i know he's going to succeed and be happy there. happier than in ann arbor, even if he is with me.

i feel alone. alone in thought. alone in body. alone for five more years.

i'm being selfish. but i can't help it. i just want everything to work out.

i want to be able to fix everything.