|Current mood:|| confused|
agh so confused!!
right now im soo confused about my life. I know i should be more active outside of school and do more and have better grades but i already missed the first meetings for St. Vincent De Paul and Photography club the two that i really want to join...does that matter?? i wish i knew now!!! because i dont know if i need this or i dont but i think i do because i dont do any sports at all in schooll.... but n e wayz i dont even know if that matters if u miss the first meeting i jus have to find someone that is in charge of it and ask if there are any more openings...i really hope so because i really need more service hours or then i wont get into college...i hope some college accepts me even if it only boards like 200 students and doesnt have a good policy i jus need this in life or i feel like i would fail becoming a good business woman or something!!! i wish i didnt make the choices in my life that i made i wish i was a better student in my past life and that i was doing more outside of school but agh i jus hope i can actually get into the clubs or if they dont accept me they are goin to die!! or then i dont know what im gonna do i guess i will jus go to some gay community college or ITT Tech HAHAHHA YEA RIGHT!! i dont think ill ever become a student from there....agh no i dont even want to think aobut it....man i feel really shitty right now i wish i was with alex and away from all of the gossiping and nonchalant shit thats goin on fuck i feel so damn bad i dont need to be like this but im only like this because of my bad choices in life! I wish i died and was reborn again! then my life would be soo easier and i would make the right choices!! AGH! I HATE MY LIFe!! i cant handle this...i hate this shit im so fucking depressed that i dont know what to do...im goin im soo tired of hearing myself say that i need to do this so i can be better at this or that or whatever!! life is a biatch
and i think i need a break from everything so im going away for ever and ever and ever bye
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