|Current mood:|| depressed|
|Current music:||white oleander|
everybody has problems . . . preparation h.
so i start school on wednesday. i still don't want to talk to people or make new friends but i guess i might have to cuz sarah might not give me a choice. sooooooooooo. well, i might start a new blog cuz i hear you can do one on yahoo but that is still up in the air as yet. i have this one and i kinda like this one. its the real me. not the imagined me or the me that should be, it is who i truly am. i thought a bout deleting an entry cuz it wasn't me anymore but i realized that i am an amalgam of all my parts and i don't have to excuse myself for it. my uterus opened up and spill forth evil from my vagina. i also added another person to my duck behind aisles in a supermarket list. that was fun. or not. whatever. i am reading a book by rosie odonnell and it makes me feel more real to read it. its going on my list of favorite books now. do you ever feel like you are gonna be rundown a exhausted after you start something new? well, i haven't started something new yet and my body is already rundown and exhausted. im beginning to wonder if my body realizes the stress i am gonna put it under and is rejecting me before i even start. i just know that this kind of stress will send me into a depression and i have all accoutremants ready and eaiting to pull me out of it. im just glad that i got rid of my codependant relationship a long time ago cuz now i am ready to face the world on my own and i don't have to lie to myself and say that i need him cuz i really don't. so im good now, and im gonna go.
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