Never the last one
Its never going to be the last entry. I came home and read some things, and cried for a long time. I dont know how to explain my life right now. Im a total wreck. I cant sleep or eat, I cant go to school without crying in classes. When Grier was giving me a ride home, I was hoping the car would get hit... and Im not joking. I want to die, I make fun of people who say that stuff, now I know how they feel. There is a difference between wanting to die, and wanting to kill yourself. I dont want to kill myslef, thats the stupidest thing in the world. I want to just die. Non self enduced. Maybe then people will care when I cried. And say something along the lines of, you know I wish I wouldnt have tried to hurt him. I want to seriously die. Or be in critical condition. No joke. I want to know deep down, who cares and who dosent. Dosent seem like anyone cares right now, Im so alone. All I do is cry, its like thats all I live to do, and thats not living is it. I want to die, God should never give a single person the power to do something that wants to make another individual die. If I died I wouldnt even care where I went. Anywhere is better than here, better than this feeling that I have inside of me. The things that some people say, shouldnt ever make you wish you were in a head on collision. Think Im joking if you want... I dont care what you think. I just want to end this anguish. When I dont sleep, and Im not talking to my friends I cry. I cried at work yesterday. Oh by the way that Andy Rotic guy, he's supposedly the best tennis player in the world, checked out in my lane and dropped a grand and a half on housewares. Regardless, who would care if I wasnt here. I wish I wasnt, I truly, truly do.
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Bryan, Iv'e known you for a while now and I dont think I ever heard you like this. I'm sorry you feel like you do. Don't worry though. You can be a sweet person and very fun to be around. There are lots of people who care about you, you just need to realize it. But think about it. You have made people feel like shit, like they want to die. Iv'e seen you. I mean, maybe now you see what being ugly can make someone feel like. Anyways I hope things turn out. -Reader|
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