daddy's little defect (_perfect_hate_) wrote, @ 2004-05-18 16:24:00

we share a brain. i, too, have been feeling boring and lost. my art style is floundering. i haven't been playing my viola as much as a should. i'm sick of my clothing/style, i feel as though i don't even have one. & i'm not writing much anymore.

as of late, i don't have much of a passion for anything because i don't know what to rest my passions in! there is so much out there, and i feel like no matter what i do, there will always be a ton more, and i'll never get to it all....and it's just so overwhelming.

and these journal entries used to just spill out, no problem...and now they're just babblement. at least i can still make words up.

my bestfriend has also changed a lot too, i've noticed. it's really strange. i mean, i love her dearly still and she still makes me smile and warms my heart and such, but she's definitely changed. but... the thing is, she seems very content with her newself. meanwhile, i'm struggling a lot. i'm sick of this charade. i want to take a loooong vacation to rediscover who the hell i want to be. thank god summer's coming up.

i got that first part from my friends journal and i cut and paste it in here cuz its exactly how i feel.

silentwhore 2004-05-19 00:01 (link)

my bets friend has changed to, and as well she seem happy with it. i wish it hadint happend cus i feel im being replaced and thats he doesnt care baout me anymore. but thats life i guess, i still love her to death. i hate how peopel are chanign so easily and im struggling with it, im so bitchy, anything sets me off, its terreble. i hope things go better you you *huggles* xoxo (Reply to this) (Thread)

_perfect_hate_ 2004-05-19 15:22 (link)

yeah see but the thing is w/ me is that i've been trying to tell her constantly that she's turning into something that she isnt and she gets all mad at me cuz i'm telling her the truth. like last night on AIM she IMed me and like lashed out on me. and we have this like notebook thing and we write notes and pass them and she like pretty much went out of her way to call me all this stuff that i'm not. aka- whore, slacker, pot head, wild child, and just like crap thats not true. and wut she dosent realize is that im just like her and i care about things said to me just like she does and she just lashes out on me. i'm over blabing now. <3 ashley (Reply to this) (Thread)