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State Of Grace (_fuckedupkid) wrote,
@ 2004-01-13 21:15:00
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    Current mood: lethargic
    Current music:Blindside ~ pitiful

    Everyone who reads this will most likely know what it is about.
    We sent out the SOS call. It was a quarter past four in the morning when the storm broke our second anchor line. Four months at sea, four months of calm seas only to be pounded in the shallows off the tip of Montauk Point. They call then rogues, they travel fast and alone. On hundred foot faces of God's good ocean gone wrong. What they call love is a risk, cause you will always get hit out of nowhere by some wave and end up on your own. The hole in the hull defied tthe crews attempts to bail us out. And flooded the engines and radio and half buried bow. Your tongue is a rudder. It steers the whole ship. Sends your words past your lips or keeps them safe behind your teeth. But the wrong words will strand you. Come off course while you sleep. Sweep your boat out to sea or dashed to bits on the reef. The vessel groads the ocean pressures its frame. Off the port I see the lighthouse through the sleet and rain. And I wish for one more day to give my love and repay debts. But the morning finds our bodies washed up thirty miles west. They say that the captain stays fast with the ship through still and storm. But this ain't the Dakota, adnt the water is cold. We won't have to fight for long. This is the end. This story's old but it goes on and on until we dissappear. Calm me and let me taste the salt you breathed while you were underneath. I am the one who haunts your dreams of mountains sunk below the sea. I spoke the words but never gave a thought to what they all could mean. I know that this is what you want. A funeral keeps both of us apart. You know that you are not alone. Need you like water in my lungs. This is the end.


    "I felt so alone, so empty. It seemed like being filled with blackness and evil was better than being filled with nothing at all. life was so painful that it couldn't have been worse if I had been covered with boils & burns from my head to my feet. No one who has not been there can possibly understand" - Timothy Michael Woodcipp



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_fuckedupkid
2004-01-14 05:33 (link)
Whats that?

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_fuckedupkid
2004-01-16 10:23 (link)
It's about a man who's on a boat who knows he's going to die because it's sinking and he's wishing he could take back all of things he's done wrong in his life but he realizes he can't.

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(Anonymous)
2004-01-16 10:44 (link)
HOLY CRAP SON! lmao its melissa!!!!!!!!! you have to come to battle of the bands tonight with me kel and my boyfriend rob! lol. omg ROBBIE IS THAT...that um girl you were talking about in school on tuesday!?!?! down there!?!? oh my god!!!!!!!!! AW. lmao that is so cool . did you know that the count the stars cd is amazing!? im going to sing for you. hehehe!! do you take advantage of your life cuz you only live once do you ever analyze your life and find empty spacessssss and every now a nd then it seems like im always sinking and every now and then it feels like never living. im good huh!? lmao wow i'm so stupid anyways you better come to the show tonight if you can cuz that would be cool and you can call me emo again and i can throw pads at you again lmao oops i told everyone heheheheheheee HOW COULD YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELFFFFF IN TIMES LIKE THIS WAS IT ME OR MY INTENTIONS THAT YOU MISS take them out of me and save them for yourself! <333333 count the fucking stars are my loves! lmao okay bye rob!


mel *

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uber_shannon
2004-01-15 19:04 (link)
hey rob-
i miss you, just..you know being able to talk to you. god and i hate to hear that about your grandma... she is such an awesome person that.. i hope she is alright. i really dont want anything to happen to her.. i know that she means so much to you- and i really hope that she gets all better. the comment in my diary was from one of my best friends, who i really lost touch with and you know hes just trying to protect me, but i think he knows that you are the real deal.. and i know that- and i really think that is all that matters. i am really sorry that i didnt get your im but i didnt see it, ;\ you know that nothing is more important that me talking to you, i would really give anything to talk to you right now, but i cant.. ;\ yea.. so this weekend im going to be on my ski trip.. like you read about - and i really wish i would be able to get the chance to talk to you but i dont know when im going to be able to... i miss you and i love you robert.
-shannon

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_fuckedupkid
2004-01-16 10:22 (link)
Hey sorry it took me so long to get back to you, I've been really busy with work and getting ready for mid-terms next week. I'm sorry if I came off as an asshole in the comment I left you before I was just really tired & I wasn't thinking. Anyways, it really did bother me, like I told Amanda, tim said to me, oh yeah I'll make you a screen name under my account because my father wouldn't let me make it under his unless I payed for the entire thing, so I was like okay cool, And he did and I didn't even know that it was this girl I go to school with. I would get weird emails from people I didn't know and I'd get ims, so I would block everyone not on my buddylist. It was so strange and I'd ask tim and he's like, well I don't know. And a couple weeks later everything happened, just the way tim wanted it too, framing an innocent girl because he wanted to get back at her. That's so stupid, seriously. But I don't want to be on bad terms with anyone because that's not cool at all. But I am real. I hope everyone understands that, mostly you and then Gabby. Because I feel so bad for that girl, she's been going through hell with her health and everything else and the last thing she needed was something like this to happen. I just don't think she likes me anymore, but that's okay I guess because not everyone likes everyone else. Well I've gotta go now because my grandma comes home from the hospital today thank god. I hope you have on your skiing trip this weekend, be safe. Well I'll talk to you some time this week because I will be on. I love you & I'm thinking about you Shannon.

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_fuckedupkid
2004-01-20 16:56 (link)
You know I'm just going to write one big comment for all three of you.



Shannon, Hey babe. How's it going? I'm in Cali right now visiting my brother. It's pretty cool here, I believe the town is called Norwalk. I'll be here for a couple weeks. My brother has aim & stuff. So I will be able to talk to you and everything so thats really awesome. Anyways. How was your skiing trip? good I hope. I'm doing okay in a way. lol I hurt my back again. I was playing on my brothers set and I just kept going at it. I even busted the kick. Not good. So my back is really messed up now. Other than my back and...yeah, I think I'm okay. But I don't really want to talk about it anymore. I really can't wait to talk to you. I really miss you and I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I hope everything stays good for you. Oh yeah, On the plane ride I was thinking about you, and I wrote you this. Here enjoy

On my way home I had a vision. This cold street I walk is my life. Everything is black, dead, unfeeling. The moon is pale it laughs at my strife. No warmth for me. Never has been. I'm just an outcast on the streets. Never had a helping hand. Candles in the night lead me home to the one who felt love for me. God I can't wait, I want to see your face shine on me. Last ounce of strength and will. I fall to the ground. I wish my life was gone. Light pierces dark, beckons me. Shows me the way to go. It's you I see. Cold dark road not so cold anymore. Place your hand in mine, we can''t cry anymore.

Pretty bad, huh? lol. Hey check out this song okay, It's called Pictures of you by The Cure. Well I better get going, I miss you tons and I love you tons too. =]





Gabby, Hey kiddo. Thank you for commenting me. It really lifted this huge boulder off of my shoulders to hear from you. I honestly don't know what I should and shouldn't say to you. I know you are probably sick of hearing it, but I really am sorry. I got a new screen name so if you want to talk to me, you can IM me or something at paintitallblack or agnosticfrxnt. Okay well I'll let you go now. Stay strong kiddo and just hang in there.


MELISSA! What's up emo noodle. haha. How's school? Sorry I'm not there. I have to be though soon for mid-terms! Oh yes! Congradulations on the band! I'm glad that you made it. Well anyways I really have to get going because my brother wants to take me out to the mall. Sounds fun, huh? Oh Sorry about the leg. That sucks a lot. I hope you get better. See ya later kiddo.

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(Anonymous)
2004-01-20 16:47 (link)
ROB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! come back to new york. school SUCKS without you. like today my friend john gaddis was all IM GUNNA LACTATE ON YOU MELISSA! and it was great. lol i was like oh john?! heheh. i'm stupid. I hurt my leg sooooooooooooooooo bad rob. dude at band practice i flew off the stage...ughhhhh it hurts like fuck! i have a leg brace on it and everything. well ill see you later homes!

em0 fairy

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