| Current mood: |  depressed |
So..I've been really out of it for the last week and half. Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my entire life. The memorial service was... so hard for me. I don't even want to talk about it at all, theres nothing more for to me say, I feel like theres nothing for me to do anymore at all. I can't explain these feelings that I'm having. I wish they'd go away, So that's why I'm leaving. I'm going to Mexico City for a week or so, Then I'm going to a town in southern california to see my brother and his wife. Hopefully I'll be able to go online. But I need to get away from everything. For the first time in my entire life I feel like I want to die. I hate it. I'm hurting so bad right now and there is nothing that anyone can do. I don't even know what to do for myself. Nothing makes sense to me at this point. Nothing. I miss Shannon too, a lot more than I thought I could miss anybody. I wish there was some way I could talk to her, if I had her address or phone number, something. I just need to hear from her...
I need to go.
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