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*_CaThArSiS_* (_controversial) wrote,
@ 2003-12-09 20:44:00
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    Current mood: lonely
    Current music:x. angel .x sarah machlachlan

    if one more person tells me that i look like the person in my icon i think i will die.
    gar, its obviously not me, although whoever she be-est is pretty and i wish it was
    but alas.
    grief dost consume you like a hug.
    its really annoying, i want religion but yet *gar the room is tipping again*
    i cant find any anywhere
    i suppose i do wish to be a christian but GAR it is terribly hard
    especially when your ex-mentors are nothing but sumbeach (hehe) hypocrites,
    and i suppose everyone is but why does it all have to fall apart at once?
    oh jesus there goes a cockroach.
    and i sleep on the floor, durnit.
    i want somebody to talk to right now and the only person on is selah.
    i dont know what i want to talk about, anything really.
    i feel so lonely all of a sudden
    and unloved and stupid
    *stupid teenage hormones*
    and deserted
    and i wish somebody,anybody would PLEASE get on or take off their away message
    i havent talked to anyone all day except my family.
    i want to talk about life, i want to talk about love, i want to talk about school,
    i want to talk about food,
    and whoever gets online next i will speak to like woah
    their little ears will be freakin blown off
    (internet wise that is)
    why am i so lonely all of a sudden?
    and why am i scared that something bad is about to happen?
    and why am i so rude and bitchy?
    and why dont i have any friends (except 9)?
    and why does everyone fade away?
    and why am i not afraid of commitment?
    and why am i so moody?
    and why cant anything stay the same?
    and why cant we all take vacations?
    and why am i so contradictory?
    and why doesnt anyone want to talk to me?
    and why cant i get over this writers block?
    and why am i so sensitive?
    and why wont anyone get on?
    and why am i proud of who i am but at the same time SO DAMN LONELY all the time?
    and why cant i make friends and keep them?
    have i changed?
    i miss my old friends, and i hate fighting with them
    and i hate never making up even when i dont know what i did wrong
    and why are there only 10 people on my buddy list?
    i want to be who i am but why am i hated for it?
    i hate to break down like this, but i am really curious.
    i want to be able to say whatever i want and not lose people over it,
    i need a sleepover and a hug or 12
    why do i care so much?
    what is love these days?
    i miss everyone so much
    i have lost so many people and right now it totally feels like my fault
    i cant help being who i am and i love my 9 friends so much but
    whatever happened to all my ex-best-friends and even just my good friends
    and why is there still a wall no matter what
    and when will things ever go back to how they used to be?
    and why will nobody comment on this blurty, ever?
    and why cant i stop saying "like"?
    and why do i have this sinking feeling?
    why arent i more intelligent
    why cant i be interesting and outgoing
    why am i so quiet and vapid and dull
    i used to like me but now i feel repulsed at the very thought of myself
    i have something wrong with me and i just cant see what it is.
    so basically as a start,
    i dont care about losing friends until moments like these when i only have 10 people i can talk to and none of them are around.
    so as a start to ammending what is broken i am sorry for offending anyone with
    my poser speech that got me suspended.
    i didnt mean to hurt anyone i was just trying to state my feelings
    and im not taking back what i said
    im just saying sorry for all that i did to offend.
    hopefully some friendships can be resolved,
    now only 8888977 to go.
    i want someone to talk to me and say that i am their best friend EVER and not just their sidekick and to carve our names into something hard and write "briana and ______ best friends forever".
    i am such a loser and i am nobodys best friend,
    too bad thats all i ever wanted

    if i sing you are my voice,

(Post a new comment)

2003-12-09 21:54 (link)
brianapudgemuffinseverson im probably not who you want to hear from in a reply to this but i want you to know that i love you with all that i can waven though i im 14 and young and "stupid" i honestly with all of my heart love you and no matter what happens i will always feel the same i dont think you have changed at all from all that i can remember of you in 7 thgrade yeah i just wanted to let you know this again be you for who you are that will insure you that the people who love you will ALWAYS love you
i love you josephstreet
ps sorry i couldnt call you jeremy had the cell phone and i couldnt take it

(Reply to this) (Thread)

2003-12-10 08:46 (link)
Aw, sweetheart.
You know I care about you, even though I don't comment you.
I'm never online to talk..that sucks.
I wish I could have been there yesterday.
You haven't changed at all.
Just be yourself, Briana. That's all that matters.
The rest of the world will love you as you are.
I love your insecurities.
You just need a hug.
And I will give you one this afternoon.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

2003-12-10 15:13 (link)
YOU ARE SOOO MY BEST FRIEND! EVER TOO!! DONT EVER EVER EVER EVER FORGET THAT! and i know you probably did already know that but i dont care. YOU ARE. and i love you and i totally appreciate you :) feel better and you rock my socks!!!
and i carve "briana and erika best friends forever" in my heart!!! where it counts!!! haha. luv ya!!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

2003-12-16 12:13 (link)
aww thanks for listing me as a friend girl you rock!!!! and yes i am quite funny in french arnt i that is when im there haha jkjk im glad i can add some enjoyment to your day:) haha anyway yeah im always here for ya girl call me anytime:) 479 2332

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