Billy (_billy_martin_x) wrote, @ 2003-05-06 13:34:00

Current mood:

accomplished

*sighs*

Is it possible for a person to hear the best and worst news of their lives, all at once, all pertaining to the same thing?

It happened to me, so I guess in a wierd ass way it is possible. It kinda changed my outlook on things, in a good way. I have God, friends, family, and my band. I shouldn't walk around pissed off at everyone, that's not a very good way to make friends, and it's a stupid way to lose friends I already have. I had a nice long talk with him and I feel like it's okay. I'm not bitter. What I am right now though, is definately jealous, I can't lie *laughs*. He deserves the best, and you'd better give it to him. Honestly that last statement was really meant as kind of, accepting in a way, ya know? Not harsh or anything, just a friend looking out for a friend. I'm trying, okay?

Well that is where my sappyness ends *nods* Did you see us on Lettermen last night? I love performing on shows like that, late night shows. Only one thing bothers me about those kinda shows. They put five of us on that tiny ass stage and when we are done they bitch at us for not rocking out enough. Sorry I try to avoid colliding into Paul. *laughs*. Did I look distracted enough for you guys? Ha, I was watching the tape after and thinking 'Why the hell does Joel sound so damn muffled?' It was probably some issue with the mics, I liked hearing Ben so loudly *shrugs* It's probably just me, ha. How hot did I look though? *rawr* Okay when I start to jump topics like that, it's time for me to be done. Billy thanks you in advance for reading. Billy loves you.

This is the result of too much coffee.

*clicks update*

sinful_trevor 2003-05-06 13:58 (link)

I am guessing that me commenting you is something you don't really want but you were talking to me so I feel like I should. I don't want to hurt him, and I didn't want to hurt you. Intentionally. I really care about him. But I give you full permission to kick my ass if I do ok? He's good people, and you know I completely understand why you would hate me if you do. Billy I don't want to be an enemy of your's. I just want you to know as his bestfriend... My intention's are true, I'm not here to screw him over. (Reply to this) (Thread)

_billy_martin_x 2003-05-06 14:16 (link)

I was talking to you. I accept it because, Ben is happy and that's all I was aiming for. I just want to see the person I love happy, even if it's not with me. I will kick your ass if you do. *nods* He is great people. It's impossible for me to hate someone I don't personally know. I'm not here to screw him over I would hope not. Yea okay this was akward. But I seriously appreciate and respect you for saying that to me, it's all things I needed to hear. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sinful_trevor 2003-05-06 14:23 (link)

And I hope that I can make him happy, but I also don't want to be the one causing him pain. Like knowing that I could come between the 2 of you. Billy I don't want to take him away from you. I will let you if I do. He would tell you that one thing that I hate is hurting people. And I guess that's why I'm attempting to talk to you, cause if I'm hurting you in anyway that hurts me. He is GREAT people, and he's helped me more than anyone in my life has. I understand that I just wanted you to know that I'd understand if you did. I'm not, nor have I ever been. Yes I admit I hurt him. And he knows that I felt like shit for that, and I can't take that back but I can only hope to not do it again. I'm sorry I don't mean to make it akward, but your his bestfriend and that makes the way you feel important to me, and I need you to know that I'm true, and that I'm not here for alterior motives. If anyone needs to know that it's you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_billy_martin_x 2003-05-06 14:30 (link)
	Billy I don't want to take him away from you . You already have, I know it wasn't malicious, but it happened. I just have to settle for second. He is happy. I am happy. *laughs*Hah, I would even if you begged me not to. *laughs* He hasn't just help me in my life. He is my life. I wanted to kill you. That was a momentary lapse of judgement so yea. I know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sinful_trevor 2003-05-06 14:38 (link)

:-( I didn't know I wouldn't beg for you to not, I'd beg for you too.. Cause I'd be a complete fool if I hurt him. You're his too I think, -smiles- you're a big part of him.. I respect that, and I won't disrepect you for that I'm sorry, I don't know what I could say to make you believe that. but I am. Not for falling for him cause he makes that so incredibly easy but for feeling like I've disrepected you in some way. -nods- (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)