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elliot smith (_asleep) wrote,
@ 2004-02-13 18:52:00
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    Current mood:amus-ed
    Current music:the dead flag blues- godspeed you black emperor

    eric gave me a rose. and a kiss. and a cd. and a song. and various embraces. man, why???? went to the fencing meet too, felt appreciated by conor and nate and harry, realized that about half the commonwealth faculty is gay, which is not suprising when i think about it. the leek came out. hilarity, i tell you, hilarity.
    an excerpt (background: commonwealth is notoriously nerdy and anti-america and anti-athletics)
    'i have helpfully provided here a handy list of reasons why you should all avoid the unpleasant and destructive activity known as "sexual intercourse." for future reference, you should probably cut out this list and carry it everywhere you go and consult it any time you have any questions about the merit of hot sweaty monkey love.'
    WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE SEX, EVER
    by thelonious fructar

    your parents did it. how cool can it be?

    it does NOT look good on a college transcript. trust us.

    sex is powerful and complicated, like a nuclear reaction. do you run around operating nuclear reactors just because it feels good? do you? no, you leave it to the professionally trained scientists.

    the Pope doesn't like sex. if you have sex, the Pope will be mad at you and stop inviting you to parties.

    sometimes sex can result in babies. babies smell bad and scream all the time.

    the safehouse policy [oh if you only knew...if you only went to commonwealth] would probably frown on such things if it acknowledged their existence.

    it's what corporate american wants you to do, sellout.

    you know who liked having sex? that's right...Hitler!

    as nerds, you must realize that any sex act is an act of betrayal to all of nerdkind.

    sex is an athletic activity. need we say more?


    and from the "news in brief" section:

    'recent studies revealed that most homophobes are in fact repressed homosexuals. in other news, all chauvinists are in fact repressed women, and all muslim fundamentalists are repressed jews.'



    so, ok, rhett is a pretentious, insolent bastard, but god damn he's funny.
    and, if you take the s out of 'godspeed you black emperor,' you get 'god peed you black emperor.' LAUGH, damnit!



(Post a new comment)

hide quickly, children. it's aj, the commenting jew.
(Anonymous)
2004-02-14 21:01 (link)
okay, one thing, fuck the safehouse policy. "parents should watch what their kids are doing and check on them frequently." okay, first of all, shutup parents committee. second of all, shutup whar-tron (hm, sounds oddly like an evil transforming toy). okay, i've vented, not much else to do, ey?

- aj

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: hide quickly, children. it's aj, the commenting jew.
_asleep
2004-02-14 21:35 (link)
dude. you posted. whoa. by the way, do you believe in christ as the messiah?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: hide quickly, children. it's aj, the commenting jew.
(Anonymous)
2004-02-14 23:01 (link)
ha...that lady was weird as fuck, man.
- "i'm jewish"
- "whoa! that's really weird! so you don't believe in christ as the messiah, do you?"
- "uh...no..."
next thing i know, i'll hear loud breathing outside my window and open it up to find her wearing all black and holding a copy of the bible and her dog. oh jesus.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: hide quickly, children. it's aj, the commenting jew.
_asleep
2004-02-15 13:25 (link)
no, more like you'll be walking down the street and a black car with a "jesus loves you" bumpersticker will pull up, a hand will reach out and pull you in the back where a man dressed in a technicolor dreamcoat (be quiet, it fits, really) will force feed you excerpts from the bible. mm mm good.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: hide quickly, children. it's aj, the commenting jew.
(Anonymous)
2004-02-15 18:14 (link)
goodbye commonwealth, hello tepee in the mountains.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: hide quickly, children. it's aj, the commenting jew.
_asleep
2004-02-17 21:00 (link)
tell squanto i say "sup, bro?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


janiejones145
2004-02-20 18:19 (link)
hahahahaha you commonwealth people are hilarious. i want a copy of the leek!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


_asleep
2004-02-21 09:52 (link)
ask and you shall recieve

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re:
janiejones145
2004-02-21 13:51 (link)
thank you!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


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