Five years on, here's a quiz to update nobody that gives a cunting shit.
[ a b o u t m e ]
[name ] : Neil. Or Phyllis. You choose.
[ birthday ] : September 6th, 1976
[ location ] : Canterbury, England.
[ height ] : 5'9"
[ siblings ] : Bolb and Dawn.
[ pets ] : None. Des is now departed, a ghost cat chasing shadows.
[ eye color ] : Hazel.
[ hair color ] : Dark brown
[ best feature(s) ] Eyes. And possibly arms.
[ artistic? ] : In a writing sense, yes.
[ boyfriend/girlfriend now ] : Nope.
[ crush ] : I don't know.
[ color of your room ] : It's light blue.
[ hobbies ] : Shooting pears, gobbing into a bin and setting it alight, running into a retirement home with a klaxon.
[ what were you doing 15 mins ago ]: Laughing at some old shit I wrote. How narcissistic of me. In a writing way.
[ what are you wearing now ] : Some t shirt what I got in Camden, some new jeans (First in a long time, actually), and boxers.
[ you drink ] : Yes. Too much.
[ you shy or outgoing ] : That depends who i'm talking to.
[ had fun this summer ]: Not really.
[ feature you notice first ]: Eyes. Backs. Hair.
[ looks/personality ] : Well, there are variances. I find someone a lot sexier if they are well intelligent and that.
[ piercings ] : None.
[ tan or fair ] : What, my preference? Not bothered, mate.
[ age difference limit ] : Couldn't give a pig's anus.
[ smart/dumb ] : Smart. I like smart ladies.
[ funny/serious ]: I oscillate wildly between the two. I can be very silly, often completely inappropriately, and vice versa.
[ m o r e a b o u t m e... ]
[ chocolate milk, or hot chocolate ] : Chocolate milk
[ mcdonalds or burger king ] : Fuck you.
[ coke or pepsi ] : I'd rather have some nice milk, thanks.
[ would you wanna marry your best friend, or the perfect lover ] : Well, my best friend is related, so it would have to be the latter, wouldn't it?
[ tea/coffee/cappuccino ] : Tea
[ cats or dogs ] : Cats
[ milk, dark, or white chocolate? ] : White.
[ sunny or rainy ] : Rainy.
[ summer/spring ] : Don't like 'em. Autumn all the way, mate.
[ vanilla or chocolate ] : Chocolate
[ biking or blading ] : I don't care for either.
[ cereal or toast ] : Cereal
[ fav. genre of music ] : Dirty rock.
[ bunk or water bed ] : A bed full of my own piss.
[ r e l a t i o n s... ]
[ Best friend(s) ] : Bolb, Richi.
[ Friends that you look like ] : I don't. I look like me. Like a cubist portrayal of a berk as viewed in a hall of mirrors.
[ Who you go to for advice the most ] : My ex girlfriends. I don't know why. They're just pretty smart, I suppose. That's why I went out with them. Natch.
[ should talk to more ] : Jim Pigballs. I don't know.
[ skinniest ] : Gasman. Doesn't exist.
[ loudest ] : Grimau. Does exist.
[ craziest ] : Sarah, perhaps. She's quite, quite insane.
[ funniest ] : Bolb.
[ nicest ] : They're all nice.
[ shortest ] : Zoe.
[ tallest ] : BEN and TIM, the ents out of LORD OF THE CHRISTING RINGS.
[ changed your life the most ] : Suzanne JS.
[ f a v e s...]
[ color ] : Black.
[ movie ] : Alien.
[ subject ] : English.
[ ocean or pool ] : Ocean.
[ laugh or cry ] : Both.
[ silver or gold ] : Silver.
[ diamonds or pearls ] : Pearls.
[ sunset or sunrise ] : Sunset
[ showers or baths ] : Showers
[ food ] : Chicken.
[ snack ]: Pasta things.
[ card game ] : Fuck the Queen!
[ all-time song ] : "Misty", by Ella Fitzgerald.
[ current song ] : "Faster", by the Manics. It's old, but I listen to it a lot.
[ rap song ] : Rap has been shit since 50 Cent fucked it free of all meaning.
[ holiday ] : I want to go to America. Or Japan.
[ movie star ] : I find them mostly dull. It's like they think they're someone else or something. Jerkoffs.
[ magazine ] : Pfft.
[ tv show ] : Twin Peaks.
[ Disney character ] : Fuck Disney.
[ animal ] : Cats.
[ drink ] : Guinness
[ cologne ]: I rarely wear it. I don't know why.
[ perfume ] : What do I care? It does nothing for me, sons.
[ brand of sneaker ] : Sigh...
[ activity ] : Wanking while parachuting.
[ fruit ] : Bananas
[ juice ] : Pineapple.
[ d o y o u ...? ]
[ do you like school ] : When I noticed girls existed, yes. Not that it did me any fucking good at the time, lolzorz.
[ do you like to talk on the phone ] : Not really.
[ do you have your own phone line ] : Jen me flatmate does. But I hardly use it.
[ do you like to dance ] : I would love it a lot more if I didn't smoke or drink. I want to do salsa. But it would take a lot to control vices. Perhaps that would be a good reason, no?
[ l a s t t i m e y o u ... ]
[ last time u showered ]: Yesterday.
[ went running] : I generally don't.
[ worked out ] : I work out by working, mate.
[ danced like a frickin idiot ] : Not for a while.
[ went to a movie ] :December 2003. Still the case. I fucking hate cinemas.
[ talked on the phone ] : Yesterday, to Georgia, about some order or something.
[ wished u were sumbody else ] : I never have done. Ironic, when you consider my difficulties with myself.
[ r a n d o m... ]
[ where would you love to travel to? ] : America. I have a lot of people to see.
[ whats ur middle name? ] : Alan.
[ is ur hair color natural? ]: Yes.
[ do u have a cell phone? ] : Yes.
[ whats ur online screen name ] : Zoo3ropa
[ what do u want to do with your life? ] : Have lots of sex and love and shit, yeah?
[ last time u went bowling ] : With some friends, in about 2007. I got a strike and everything.
[ are u any good at bowling ] : I was alright.
[ last time u went to the doctor ] : Last year, for a ball scan. That means testicles. Everything appears to be fine.
[ do u have a credit card ] : No.
[ do u consider urself a "nice" person ] : Yes, but slightly temperamental.
[ last book ] : Charlie Brooker's The Hell Of It All.
[ are u stressed out? ] : Not really. There's no point anymore.
[ do u believe in angels? ] : Nope.
[ what are u driving now? ] : A clown's car, into a school crowd.
[ do u think ur spoiled? ] : No.
[ do u like mustard? ] : Yes I do.
[ ketchup? ] : Yes, I like it. For fuck's sake.
[ mayo? ] : Yes.
[ have u seen the exorcist? ] : Nope.
[ how bout dumb & dumber? ] : Yes.
[ ever been skydiving? ] : No.
[ number of piercings ] : None.
Well, that was a massive waste of time. Be you later.
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