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converstaion with kirby...
this was kirby and I's conversation last night. read it, comment on it, condem me to hell if you wish but here we go:
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: amanda, you know what you really dont have anything to say. cuz beth admitted that she has a void and you do too, and yes you do try to get w/ a lot of guys
xL0verN0tAFightr: I DO FUCKING NOT HOLY SHIT. I've had what? two boyfriends this year...three if you count stephen. and I've hooked up with how many people that i haven't gone out with this school year? none you say? yea that's what I thought too..I would know and all...but if you know something different than I must have been terribly messed up.
xL0verN0tAFightr: I FUCKED UP IN THE PAST...god forbid I made a mistake...but you are not perfect kirby and you have made mistakes before I'm sure. but if not PLEASE tell me what a fuck up I am
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: okay amanda, you "hooked up" w/ alot of guys then, whatever
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: i dont care amanda, and sure you made mistakes but FUCK, i know im not perfect and i have made mistakes but not as many as you.
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: god forbid, something happen that might hurt you
xL0verN0tAFightr: you have no right to judge me if you have screwed up before too
xL0verN0tAFightr: I understand that I screwed up, I apologized, and I am doing what I can to fix it
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: oh so im judging you now, knowing what i know.
xL0verN0tAFightr: it was a long time ago
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: not really amanda
xL0verN0tAFightr: not really what kirby?!
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: it wasnt that long ago
xL0verN0tAFightr: what? what is so horribly wrong with me that you and the rest of the world find it necessiary to have me as the topic of your conversation? that you MUST tear me down in order to make yourself look better, in order to feel that you are a better person because you have not made as many mistakes as I have.
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: I DO NOT TEAR YOU DOWN!
xL0verN0tAFightr: and it was almost 6 months ago. if you want to tell me that that is not a long time than go right ahead. a whole world can change in 6 months
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: you are the one in beth's blurty that said im sorry if you have never wanted to be loved
xL0verN0tAFightr: and I suppose you think all that shit you said about me was nice?
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: i said one thing about you
xL0verN0tAFightr: it was not directed at you, it was proving a point.
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: but still, im sorry if you have never wnted to be loved
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: YOU DONT KNOW THOSE PEOPLE AND NEITHER DO I!!
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: its liek the raegan girl saying it too.
xL0verN0tAFightr: you're lying. you told blake shit about me in an attempt to get him not to ask me out...you're friends with kala and shannon and that right there proves that you have been around that shit and more than likely thrown your hat in the barrel
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: it hurts me fucking too amanda
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: dont think you are the only person who gets hurt
xL0verN0tAFightr: I DON'T THINK THAT KIRBY
xL0verN0tAFightr: I FUCKING HATE THAT! you fucking think that just because I said one thing that you KNOW how what I'm thinking
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: OH JUST BECAUSE IM FRIENDS w/ KALA AND SHANNON THAT MAKES MEA BAD PERSON!!
xL0verN0tAFightr: I didn't say you were a bad person
xL0verN0tAFightr: I said you talk about me
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: and what "shit" did i tell blake
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: i didnt want you to hurt him
xL0verN0tAFightr: you and the rest of the world whom I've never done anything to but sees it as important to point out what I horrible person I am
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: oh sorry if we are concerned about you half the time
xL0verN0tAFightr: you are not concerned, you want to point out that I am a bad person
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: omg amanda you have your head so far up your ass that you cant see general concern for you
xL0verN0tAFightr: I am not a bad person kirby. I screwed up. the only guy I ever hurt was kendle and I will be forever sorry for that. I was hurt...I am hurt and I've gotten hurt and my past actions give you no right to tell blake every last thing that you think you know
xL0verN0tAFightr: you want to be concerned about me? tell ME
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL HIM
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: i am concerned about you amanda.
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: i have been.
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: FUCK!
xL0verN0tAFightr: tell me about it...don't go off and discuss it with everyone but me. that is how rumors get started
xL0verN0tAFightr: "don't go out with her blake, she's a whore"
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: omg, so im the only one that says that?
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: yea. okay.
xL0verN0tAFightr: no you're not
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: amanda if you havent been w/ so many guys and just done stuff i wouldnt think that
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: OKAY FUCK YOU TO
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: TOO&*
xL0verN0tAFightr: THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE THAT HAVE DONE MUCH WORSE KIRBY
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: i know.
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: they are not any betrer
xL0verN0tAFightr: but it's their lives kirby
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: so jumping around from guy to guy is your live
xL0verN0tAFightr: no. but I am in control of it..I am able to make those decisions.
xL0verN0tAFightr: I am grown up enough to know what I'm doing
xL0verN0tAFightr: and so is everyone else
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: well, you sure arent grown up enough to see that it makes you look bad
xL0verN0tAFightr: I don't care how other people see me
xL0verN0tAFightr: I care how I see me
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: well good for you
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: im really glad you dont care, but think about it, guys will line up at your doorstep becuase that want something EASY!
xL0verN0tAFightr: I yes I do realize that in the past I made mistakes...I have apologized for them like I said...blake doesn't like me because he wants something and as of right now that is all I'm worried about
xL0verN0tAFightr: I don't go out with guys that want something from me
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: amanda you are so blind
xL0verN0tAFightr: and I've never just done stuff with guys who only "want something" from me
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: phillip
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: he honestly doesnt have feelings.
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: trust me i would know, i know basically his whole family
xL0verN0tAFightr: I liked phillip. and I'm sure what you heard was way out of proportion from what really happened. phillip liked me. I knew that
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: amanda, just know that you have a void in your life and you try to fill that void w/ a guy
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: and once you feel it again you move on
xL0verN0tAFightr: I have nothing wrong with my life
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: ok
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: sure
xL0verN0tAFightr: I am a happy person with out without a guy...although my life is not perfect I am content with it
xL0verN0tAFightr: I don't need "god" if that's what you're getting at...I don't believe in god and I don't care to.
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: i wasnt goign to get to that
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: but you cant fill that void.
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: its a space that was ripped away from you. i have one too but i dont try to fill it w/ a guy.
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: i turn to my friends
xL0verN0tAFightr: I have my friends thank you. my so called friends were the ones that fucked me over to begin with
xL0verN0tAFightr: guys don't help
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: oh really, or were they just trying to help
xL0verN0tAFightr: all I have is myself
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: amanda, like i said you are blind.
xL0verN0tAFightr: no they were not trying to help. gossip and hatefulness are not helpful
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: and if you are so "content" w/ yourself, why are you never single for more than a month
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: you need to feel loved.
xL0verN0tAFightr: I was single for 5 months
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: its a drug to you.
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: when 7 grade
xL0verN0tAFightr: know what you're talking about before you say it
xL0verN0tAFightr: this summer
xL0verN0tAFightr: I was single from kendle to chris
xL0verN0tAFightr: 5 months
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: oh wow, is that when you turned to real drugs?
xL0verN0tAFightr: another thing you know little about
xL0verN0tAFightr: I have done drugs a grand total of 5 times
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: woo hoo, drug-free amanda
xL0verN0tAFightr: I don't care to be drug free
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: good, i hope they rot you.
xL0verN0tAFightr: but don't call me some huge stoner and say I "got into real drugs" when you don't know anything about that either
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: becuase you obviously dont care about anybody but yourself, emily and blake
xL0verN0tAFightr: you're wrong. I don't care about myself.
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: speed and weed. yea, those are real drugs
xL0verN0tAFightr: speed?! are you serious?
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: yea.
xL0verN0tAFightr: never done speed
xL0verN0tAFightr: not once
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: okay amanda, thats why you attacked shannon and were all WOOOOOOO.
xL0verN0tAFightr: attacked shannon?
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: and you told someobyd that night and said you were on speed
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: shannon or kelsey.
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: either one
xL0verN0tAFightr: I wasn't on speed. I have never done speed. I have smoked weed 3 times, I have taken 3 xanex once, and I have taken 6 benadryll
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: right.
xL0verN0tAFightr: I know what I've done. and I don't give a fuck at all if you believe me or not.
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: weed is still a real drug amanda
xL0verN0tAFightr: understood
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: and you have a problem
xL0verN0tAFightr: a problem? as in one? oh kirby I have alot of problems...
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: oh good, you are coming to admit something
xL0verN0tAFightr: I know I have problems. everyone does. I don't have a drug problem if that's what you're implying. I haven't done drugs in quite some time.
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: i wasnt saying that drugs were your problem, i was saying you just have a problem in general.
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: oh about the god thing, are you too good for god or something?
xL0verN0tAFightr: chemical depression
xL0verN0tAFightr: anxiety diorder
xL0verN0tAFightr: yes those would be problems
xL0verN0tAFightr: I don't believe in god
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: i have depression too. big deal
xL0verN0tAFightr: and I don't care to discuss it with you
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: well, i think its funny that you go to 180 and dont believe
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: what do you do when they pray? plug your ears
xL0verN0tAFightr: 180 is fun
xL0verN0tAFightr: and they can pray all they want
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: you have to believe in something. everything didnt appear out of nowhere
xL0verN0tAFightr: I'm around that stuff, it doesn't bother me. they can believe that all they want but I don't
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: thats ridiculous
L0ve N TRaGeDY x: you know what im done talking you. good-bye
xL0verN0tAFightr: don't preach at me now kirby. you are not a nice person so I have no intention on listening to you.
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