Ashley (xxxangei1xxx) wrote, @ 2003-12-03 19:53:00

Been a While
So it's been a long time since i've written anything.. and there are many reasons for that..

the main one being that i was scared to write down wut's really been on my mind afraid that who ever may have read it will become extremely upset with me.. Because the truth is that i fell out of love with my boyfriend, and last nite i broke current ties with him ((temporarily)) because i didn't think it was fair for him to be in love with someone, when he doesn't get the same feelings back. And knew i was hurting him more by staying with him, and pretending that things were fine when they really weren't... at all.

I mean last friday we had our first real right, when we've been together for 8 months, and he basically told me (( for about two hours straight)) how badly i've treated him, how i've changed since we've been together, and wut a bitch i've been recently. (( I said about two words in that conversation... "HI" and "BYE")) Since that conversation i've been thinking about what i've really been doing, and this break thing is the best that i could come up with, "Honestly is the key" according to someone i took a lot of advice from, Andrew.

Now Andrew is, well, i would consider him one of my closest friends, considering i can tell him anything, and i would pretty much trust him with my life. I met him through Mikey P. who was Victoria's ex. and me and mikey kept in contact after him and victoria spilt up. Mikey is also a close friend, but i haven't seen him or andrew in a very long time ((andrew longer than mikey)) I see mike every few months, he stops by to play pool, but andrew has been away at college so i haven't seen him in a very very long time... Up until last saturday night. Origianlly i was supposed to go to a concert with andrew because he has an extra ticket, but when that flopped we ended up hangin out with mikey and his g/f maria. So catching up with them was like the best thing that has happened to me in a long time.. i realized how much i missed them and how great they both are.

So after me and Chris talked about the break last nite, Andrew was the first person i called. 0= ) And he probably was annoyed with me because i kept bothering him with my emotional crap, but he was there for me even so.

Now my focuses are on what to get everyone for christmas!! eh! I hate shopping 0=*)

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