|Current mood:|| frustrated|
Alot to think about....
Jus sittin here by myself i dunno, i tend to think alot. About what could have been different. About how i could be better. And honestly i feel as tho im just a big dissapointment. Most of all to myself. I never would have dreamed half the shit that ive done....would actually happen. I never thought i would succomb to it. But i did. It's almost as though im living in a nightmare. But it's one i created. and i know it. That makes it worse. It could have been good. Maybe i would've been happy. But i'm alone, and fucked up. It's like a vicious cycle from bad to worse. Happy moments drift in and out and then are fucking shattered. It makes me feel sometimes as though i should jus fuckin give up. Something in the back of my mind keeps me going thankfully, even thru the worst. I hope it stays w/ me, because lately it feels as though its been weakening.