I kiss your eyes, and thank god we're together
Just chillen out at Eric's. Hung out with Sue and everybody tonight....had alittle party at her house. That was quiet fun. Rob and Katie just left. Pretty much a normal night: hanging out than sitting at the diner till 3 am. I'm just really bummed and can't really sleep for some reason. I don't know why really. I've smoked two packs of cigarettes today. That really can't be healthy for me, but whatever.... Amanda called me like 5 or 6 times today to "check up" on me....... I don't know what she thought I was doing really. I really wish I knew. I went to LBI with Jayne today, really just because we were bored and we could. She learned the fine art of peeing in public. It was fabulous. She was mordified by the whole thing. She thought that everyone on the beach was looking at her. It was silly. I have to wake Er up when we have to head over to Michelle's house for her party. Should be quiet eventfull. I wonder if my mom is questioning where the fuck I am....Probably not. She really just doesn't give a fuck anymore. It's kinda lame that the only thing she really says to me anymore is that I need to clean, or do the dishes. Semi-hurtful really. We used to be so close, and now she couldn't give a shit less it seems. They want to move to VA and I told them that there's no way in hell that I'm moving cause I'm planning on going to school in NYC. They don't seem to understand that. But whatever really. They can do whatever the fuck they want. I have my friends here, and I'm not planning on starting over all over again. This is the only place I have been for a substancal amount of time, and I'm not about to lose all I have here. I love Kassia, and I love the hell out of Viola.....but I'm really not prepared to start over again. As much as this place sucks ass.....it's my home. I love it. Not because of anything around here, but because of my friends. It's an amazing thing to walk down the street and have people know your name. For people that have lived in one spot all their lives it's not a big deal, but for someone that has been moved around so much it's an amazing feeling. I can't stand to lose that now. Not after all I have worked for and the family that me and my friends have built. These are people that I could be friends with for the rest of my life, and still love to death. I would take a bullet for anyone of them. They mean so much to me, and I really don't think that they understand that as well as they should. I would be heartbroken if any of us lost touch when we go to collage... I really would be. Because these people ARE my family. If we were all together until the day we died, there wouldn't be a moment that I wouldn't be smiling.
TO EVERYONE (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE)
I love you all so much, from the bottom of my heart. You guys are my sanity. If it weren't for you all, I don't know where I would be right now. And I sure as hell know that I would not be the person I am today if it weren't for all of you. I take away something amazing from every experience that we go threw together....good or bad. I will always be right here. You all are the best friends that anyone could ask for, and that's an honest to god statement.