Yet again it has been awhile
So what is new what sparked this sudden entry.. i just found out the only person i ever really loved is engaged.... it feels kinda wierd but.. hmm i just dunno how to describe it... he was alot of firsts for me.. i mean i am really over him.. but a part of me will always feel like he was the one who got away coz he was my first love... its a wierd feeling not like crying but a kinda goofy smile on my face (as alex said) kinda quizical.. im not sure what to think of it...i havent loved any one like i loved him before... not even josh... i still have dreams with guy in them.. like the kiss on the couch.. and lying in his arms.. i dont by any means even close to wanting to be with him at all.. but sometimes i wonder if he ever has these random thoughts about me.....I kinda think that i wish i didnt know about the engagement... i dont really know what to think.. ahh wierd feeling i wish i could sum it up but i cant.. Blah i feel kinda Blah... grrr... lol i wish jamie hadnt told me... any way i needed to vent that.. gotta go now.. ill try and update soon bout new years and stuff...byebey Britne
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