Star No Star (xstarxnoxstarx) wrote, @ 2003-01-26 16:12:00

this I ask
me(15:55:51): would u tell me if ur upset?
her (15:56:20): no, because ive decided to no longer discuss that with anyone because it only causes problems
me (15:56:43): thats bullshit
her(15:57:38): no, its not ive realized....if i say im upset/pissed/angry/etc, i get bitched out because everythings my fault, im a dumbass, and i just do it for attention of course
her (15:58:01): this has been brought to my attention by numerous people in the past week or so
me(15:58:15): and when have I done this? or are you just basing all this on a few other random people?
her (15:58:48): im basing this on emma, holly, and matt
me (15:59:45): k m**, fine go lock your emotions away just so you dont "fuck things up" go right ahead. but I cant see how it could be a good thing
her (16:00:13): because then i wont get bitched out everytime i open my mouth
me (16:01:05): so based on 3 people ur never telling anyone how u feel?
her (16:02:02): id ont know, i try not to think about it too much
me (16:02:45): u'll never live if you do that...
her(16:04:15): i dunno....brb
Lordy that is so fucking dumb, that doesnt help. Doesnt she realize I'm here? Fuck stuff like this makes me feel so worthless, like I am. Just if she does that she would be doing something I have done for 4 fucking years! And do I sounds happy? Do I sound stable? NO I DONT. she isnt gonna fucking live and I know that. Guess what I bet if she keeps it up she'll committ suicide; she has tried before it wouldnt shock me if she tried again. Fuck. But there is nothing I can fucking do! She wont tell me anything, all locked away.. dying like that. Fuck chica thats fucking dumb open your mouth, tell the truth and live your damn life. Please live, please dont die. The sad part is I do care and she'll never believe me, she'll never trust me. All I can do is watch thats it, i hate not having control I hate not being trusted. I hate you for not being smarter than me.
Please please don't die

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