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Star No Star (xstarxnoxstarx) wrote,
@ 2003-01-20 15:31:00
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    Current mood: blank
    Current music:korn....

    A cheap fuck for me to lay something takes a part of me
    Korn eh how mature?
    Lookie at the journal new arrangement? nifty no? took me forever and a day but hell for not reading any hmtl i think it looks pretty decent.
    Im tired of onesided conversation that I seem to have with everyone. I just want there to be someone that I can go to when upset, someone that wont ask questions but just hold me while I cry this all out. SOmeone who realizes something is wrong without me having to say a word... someone that makes me feel safe. but I havent found that person yet, will I ever? I don't know, I honestly dont. I thought I could be happy being alone, but hell I still want that "other half" relationship with someone, like everyone talks about... bah. Damn you
    My hands are so cold they are turning purple. I really dont wish to go to school tomorrow... I wonder if there is swim practice, and will I go? Is reba about? I wonder how ohio was.
    been wanting to cut up my arms lately, I want to tear them apart, gash after gash. mmmm. But no I cant too much of my wardrobe is short sleeves, and the whole swimming thing is a little problematic. Aww welll.... perhaps a window broke on my arm could work? tehehe no. Honestly its sick, the idea of taking a large shard of glass and plunging it into my wrist and watching the blood boil forth is very very tempting.... and I dont have a reason to, just this want . Oh well... I won't.. hell I probably wont cut at all today... does that make you proud of me?



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