|Current music:||Blindside |
Journal Entry from December 7th, 2004
So I'm sitting in Driver's Ed right now... DJ and I were talking about the 12 year old girl that was murdered and found on the side of the road in Chester last night. Thats odd... nothing like that ever happens in Chester. I had a weird vibe last night followed by extreme paranoia, almost like a fear of getting caught, something that made me feel guilty, like I had done it or something... Why the fuck did I feel like that!? I didn't kill her! Yesterday was weird. From like 4 or 5 something, to almost 7, I forgot, like I lost time completely. I rememebr waiting on Drew to call and I must have fallen asleep. I don't rememebr getting to talk to him again after that... Which really sucks. I miss him so much. I really need him. I love him SO much! I really can't wait until we are engaged and then married. I won't have my life any other way. I WILL spend it with him, or I won't spend it at all. I'll rot eternally, staring at the backside of a coffin top. I really hope to God that he doesn't hurt me. It kinda hurts my feelings that he doesn't trust me. I would NEVER hurt him. Why won't he believe me? I mean, I understand why, that fucking bitch Melissa fucked him over pretty bad. I'm not fucking her though! I'D NEVER DO THAT! I'm not like other girls... I'm REALLY NOT. It hurts to think that he might think I'm like all other girls. Why doesn't he realize this?