|Current mood:|| depressed|
I need help. I don't know what to do w/ myself. I feel like I'm falling apart. I'm tired of going through this bullshit. I'm the dumbest person I know. I have no fucking self control. And having to accept reality isn't helping. Having my best friend who is supposed to just HELP me in my time of need, just tells me I have to take responsibility. WELL IM NOT FUCKING RESPONSIBLE. Hearing Graz tell me what he thinks ISNT helping. I DONT WANT TO HEAR THAT. I'm stupid and I don't deserve to have friends. And that's what I'm getting. I should just isolate myself from the world because I only end up hurting myself in the end. I hate how I can be sooo happy that it feels like I can never ever ever be sad again then all of a sudden, something hits me and I'm soooo sad that I feel like I can never ever ever be happy again, or like, when I was happy I wasn't really happy and it was just ignoring the world. Times like these I wish I wasn't alive. Not that I want to die. But, just never to be born. I take the easy way out of everything. I wish I knew why everything happens the way it does. Why it feels like everything is falling apart. Why the only person that I thought I could trust was just a total bitch to me. Why she hates me? Why everyone is giving me such a hard time. I'm really hurting right now. I feel like a terrible person. I feel like SHIT. Come save me. I dunno who. But if SOMEONE saves me. I'll give you my soul. Because you'll deserve it, not that you'd want it.