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am i the same? cuz i don't feel the same. (xheadxgamesx) wrote,
@ 2003-12-10 18:09:00
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    so here we are again
    well this is my third journal in the last year..either i really like writing about my "feelings" or i just really enjoy people being all up in my business..muahaha. i've decided that my livejournal caused too many problems at home..and maybe this one will work out a little bit better. i suppose all of those who don't know about this journal will be disappointed that they don't know all about my life anymore..but i guess that just sucks for them now doesn't it. my little name thingy is a hidden in plain view song..anyone who reads this better check them out. it's a good thing tbs is my favorite band by far, becuz if it weren't for them hipv would soo be my favorite. i've listened to no other cd but theirs for the last week and it only has 5 songs.

    ~*~ so now, chris and andrew, the men of the week. hopefully things will go well with at least one of them. i'm not usually like this, but chris has been with some people that i know that i fail to like and who fail to like me..that doesn't mean i'm going to shun him from just makes me feel weird knowin who he's been with and andrew is older and mature...just the way i like em..and he talked to me about cars. so he said that he and i were gonna get married, go to vegas for a year, then go to cali and start our record company. so i'm excited..i have to find something to wear..hehe. umm so yea. vega and i talked at lunch today about something other than sex..i think it was becuz jackie wasn't there. anyway liz asked me about heather..and i chuckled becuz frankly i don't give a damn..but i figured i would clue her in on what's going on..not that i know. anyway..i just basically told her that heather throws fits where she decides to get mad at me and i just didn't feel a need to explain myself anymore..and i informed her of how heather IMed me with her..i dunno..i guess her last chance to make herself feel better about being an ass or something..and basically it made me dislike her sooo much more. as much as she's "stabbed me in the back'' i suppose i still had some respect for her..i saw it as her way of being mad and getting back at me or something..whatever..either way i overlooked it. then this bullshit that she tells me online is basically like spitting in my face while telling me i was right..and then she chooses to hate me over the one thing that isn't all my fault. i mean the one time i really really need someone to be there for me...she, my so-called best friend decides to distance herself from me..and "hate me" well know what there goes all my respect for her. i fail to be friends with anyone that i cannot respect..and usually those that i can't respect have no respect for me. i mean granted i have met a few guys online and some people see that as a bad idea becuz people could be crazy..but the funny thing is i meet extremely normal people online, people i can talk to, people who i can relate to..normal people..i had to go out into the real world and find friends who were fucking pschyotic..go figure. anyway...i used to wonder why i had so little chick friends and chose to surround myself with guys..and thanx to heather and danielle..i've remembered why. guys are cool..guys can just hang out..guys won't stab you in the back, they don't talk shit, and they don't ditch you for other guys. guys know how to have fun...they aren't dramatic, they're laid back..and they're easier to trust most of the time. it's when the fine line between friendship and reltationship is crossed that things get a little complicated but that's life. i'm sorry that other people don't realize that things such as what someone said to someone about someone else and that i don't "stand up" for someone or that shit talking isn't important. it's not important now and it never will be..that doesn't mean i'm talking down to anyone..i'm just being honest and people can't handle that..well get over it. people tend to try to hate me becuz i'm the only one who will tell them the truth and i'm tired of looking like the asshole becuz i'm the only one who gives a fuck. and sadly enough that's the short version of what liz and i talked about..hehe. so anyway. basically...yea..whatever. i'm happy.that's finally all that matters. ~*~

    <<*>> all i wanted was someone to hold onto, all i asked for was someone to help me through, all i wanted was just someone to hold onto, all i got was i've got you <

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