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Tµë Mï§fît² (xerxies) wrote,
@ 2004-10-25 12:54:00
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    when i was in the 4th grade, i asked my dad if i could go with my classmates to disney world. i really wanted to go cos everyone else had gone and i hadnt. i told my teacher i was upset cos i knew my dad would say no, and she said sumthing implying that there was nothing wrong with going. i asked my dad and he laughed. he said "no of course you cant go. youre too young to be going out to far away places like that." i said that everyone else was going, so why couldnt i? he said "because theyre cubans. theyre not nice people. did you hear of that little girl who got killed in a bathroom stall? arent you scared to go on your own? if you were a good girl, you yourself would say no. you shouldnt want to go with out me."

    when i told my dad that my hair was breaking, i asked him if he could cut it a little. and he said okay, and pretended to cut a little off but he did no such thing. and i got angry and went to the salon so they could do it. i went to the salon and the lady fried my hair. when it started falling out, i told my dad its cos youre supposed to cut it once a month or so, and he said no. he said the women at the salon were wrong and they jsut wanted to make money. so i had to cut it myself cos i didnt have money. and my hair got better...

    i told my dad the girls at school were picking on me. he said not to do anything and theyd go away. but they never did. so i cried every morning before i went to school, and he said somthing condescending like "it cant be that bad." but it was. and he didnt do anything.

    i told my dad i had depression. eventhough i thoroughly explained the condition, and the psychologist explained it, and his friends explained it, he still repeated the words "im sure theres something you can do without the help of medication or counseling. its your own fault youre depressed."

    i told my dad i didnt want nana to watch me bathing anymore. he said thats just the way she was and he couldnt do anything about it.

    dad didnt let dan come twice. it took me 4 years for him to let me go there. he still doesnt want me to go again.

    hes never there for me. he never was. he just gives me money.

    shannon used to call. she wanted to get close to me. but everytime she rang, my dad told me not to pick up. and everytime she came over, he didnt let me open the door. he insisted that my mum didnt love me, eventhough that lie had given me the comfort i wanted for so long.

    when my dad was working on my car, i kept pressuring him for hi to finish. i cant remember why i was angry, but it had nothing to do with my just wanting the car. they thought it was because they wouldnt listen to me. i ended up looking like a spoiled brat in front of everyone in the dealer, having a nervous breakdown in which the police were called, and i have a suicide attempt written in my record.

    he fucked my 19th birthday.

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